Piano quotes funny

Piano quotes funny DEFAULT
Funny piano quote Life is like a piano, the white keys represent happiness and the black shows sad

Life is like a piano, the white keys represent happiness and the black shows sadness, but as you go through life's journey, remember that the black keys also makes music.


A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Shankly


Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

Steven Wright


Funny piano quote To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone

To thrive in life you need three bones. A wishbone. A backbone. And a funny bone.

Reba McEntire


If the King loves music, it is well with the land.



I always make sure that the lid over the keyboard is open before I start to play.

Artur Schnabel


Funny piano quote Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different.

C. S. Lewis


Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled.

George Bernard Shaw


Music expresses feeling and thought, without language;

it was below and before speech, and it is above and beyond all words.

Robert Green Ingersoll


I do a so-called trip into myself: I sit down at the piano and the melody might start to evolve from my playing or then I might start to sing it.



Funny piano quote I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.

I tried to be normal once. Worst to minutes of my life.


Comedy, I figured, was the thing that came to me the most easily.

Playing the trumpet and piano took practice. I thought that was a waste of time. I'd go out on the street corner and be funny. In a minute.

George Carlin


Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.

Oscar Wilde


What passion cannot music raise and quell!

John Dryden


PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.

Ambrose Bierce


Men love watches with multiple functions.

My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.

Rita Rudner


What am I supposed to do if I go bald? Get a wig? Fat, goofy, gay, wig.

I might as well get a piano and start an Elton John tribute act!

Alan Carr


Funny piano quote I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Groucho Marx


The Rolling Stones suffered a great loss with the death of Ian Stewart, the man who had for so many years played piano quietly and silently with them on stage.

Andy Peebles


I really wanted to find a piano for the farm house.

There were so many free pianos on Craigslist, I thought, 'Let's get as many free pianos as we can and stick them all in the barn.' I got eight in a short period of time, only six of which were tunable, but it's still quite funny.

Neko Case


Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.

Woody Allen


Funny piano quote Trust me, You can dance.

Trust me, You can dance.


Baldwin is sort of getting to be a bit funny.

I don't know what happened, but a few years ago they suddenly went bankrupt and Gibson bought the whole outfit. Since then they haven't seemed to be doing an awfully good job of providing pianos.

Marian McPartland


Your next-door neighbor is not a man;

he is an environment. He is the barking of a dog; he is the noise of a piano; he is a dispute about a party wall; he is drains that are worse than yours, or roses that are better than yours.

Gilbert K. Chesterton


Sours: https://quotlr.com/quotes-about-funny-piano


40 Funny Quotes by Musicians
(because we’re all a little weird)


As many of you know, I frequently post inspiring or funny musician quotes on our Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and Google+ pages. Since there aren’t many good sources to find all of these gems in one convenient place, I’ve decided to compile 40 of my favorites in this post. Feel free to add some more in the comment section below  too…I’m always hunting for new ones. So, here we go…

“All music is folk music. I ain’t never heard a horse sing a song.”
― Louis Armstrong

“I’m sick to death of people saying we’ve made 11 albums that sound exactly the same. In fact, we’ve made 12 albums that sound exactly the same.”
― Angus Young (AC/DC)

“All the good music has already been written by people with wigs and stuff.”
― Frank Zappa

“My music is best understood by children and animals.”
― Igor Stravinsky

“Do it again on the next verse, and people think you meant it.”
― Chet Atkins

“To achieve great things, two things are needed: a plan and not quite enough time.”
― Leonard Bernstein

“If I didn’t do this well, I just wouldn’t have anything to do…I can’t cook, and I’d be a terrible housewife.”
― Freddie Mercury (Queen)

“I don’t know anything about music, In my line you don’t have to.”
― Elvis Presley

“There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together. The public doesn’t give a damn what goes on in between.”
― Thomas Beecham

“There are two kinds of artists left: those who endorse Pepsi and those who simply won’t.”
― Annie Lennox

“I’ve been imitated so well I’ve heard people copy my mistakes.”
― Jimi Hendrix

“After I saw Jimmy [Hendrix] play, I just went home and wondered what the f*** I was going to do with my life.”
― Jeff Beck

“Money doesn’t talk, it swears.”
― Bob Dylan, Music at Night and Other Essays

“Actually I don’t remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.”
― Jim Morrison

“I don’t deserve a Songwriters Hall of Fame Award. But fifteen years ago, I had a brain operation and I didn’t deserve that, either. So I’ll keep it!”
― Quincy Jones

“When people say you’re doing something radical in rock or dance music, I’m not sure how special that is. What we do is so old-fashioned. It’s like trying to do something innovative in tap-dancing.”
― Jonny Greenwood (Radiohead)

“Competitions are for horses, not artists.”
― Bela Bartok

“I’d rather be a musician than a rock star.”
― George Harrison

“I smash guitars because I like them.”
― Pete Townshend

“It’s easy to play any musical instrument: all you have to do is touch the right key at the right time and the instrument will play itself.”
― Johann Sebastian Bach

“Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny.”
― Frank Zappa

“I never had much interest in the piano until I realized that every time I played, a girl would appear on the piano bench to my left and another to my right.”
― Duke Ellington

“There’s nothing like the eureka moment of knocking off a song that didn’t exist before – I won’t compare it to sex, but it lasts longer.”
― Paul McCartney

“Let me be clear about this: I don’t have a drug problem, I have a police problem.”
― Keith Richards

“I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.”
― John Cage

“When I was a little boy, I told my dad, ‘When I grow up, I want to be a musician.’ My dad said: ‘You can’t do both, Son’.”
― Chet Atkins

“If you’re listening to a rock star to get your information on who to vote for, you’re a bigger moron than they are.”
― Alice Cooper

“To listen is an effort, and just to hear is no merit. A duck hears also.”
― Igor Stravinsky

“To get your playing more forceful, hit the drums harder.”
― Keith Moon (The Who)

“Sometimes we pee on each other before we go on stage.”
― Trent Reznor

“Dogs smoke in France.”
― Ozzy Osbourne

“In order to compose, all you need to do is remember a tune that nobody else has thought of.”
― Robert Schumann

“I think John would have liked Free As A Bird. In fact, I hope somebody does this to all my crap demos when I’m dead, making them into hit songs.”
― George Harrison

“In the end we’re all Jerry Springer Show guests, really, we just haven’t been on the show.”
― Marilyn Manson

“If I knew I had to play this song the rest of my life I probably woulda wrote something else….”
― Joe Walsh (“Rocky Mountain Way”)

“Rock journalism is people who can’t write interviewing people who can’t talk in order to provide articles for people who can’t read.”
― Frank Zappa

“Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.”
― Igor Stravinsky

“I never practice my guitar… from time to time I just open the case and throw in a piece of raw meat.”
― Wes Montgomery

“Lesser artists borrow, great artists steal.”
― Igor Stravinsky

“When an instrument fails on stage it mocks you and must be destroyed!”
― Trent Reznor

So, there you have it…I hope you enjoyed these pearls of wisdom…lol.  At the very least, you’re now armed with some random small talk at your next gig or party! But I’d like to end with one last quote which didn’t make the list above. I know…some of you may now consider this to be a post of 41 quotes and I truly apologize for misleading you with the title…my bad.

“Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.”
― Unknown


-Adam Small


Adam’s MMMC Artist Profile
Adam’s Music Consulting & Management Page

Adam Small2018-01-24T18:54:57-05:00Sours: https://www.mymusicmasterclass.com/40-funny-quotes-by-musicians/
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piano jokes

Pianos have been a musical staple for centuries. The piano inspires more than just musical sounds; it also makes for a great punch line.

Below are 50 of the best piano jokes, puns, and quotes of all time. Share this list with fellow pianists or your piano teacher.

While we admit some of these piano jokes are a little “out there,” they’re sure to put a smile on your face.

Let the laughs begin…

Best Piano Jokes

Everybody loves a good piano joke! Next time you meet with your piano teacher, start by telling him or her one of these clever piano jokes and see if he or she can’t guess the right answer.

Have you heard about the musician who leaves a message for his wife? Answer: Gone Chopin, have Liszt, Bach in a Minuet.

Why are pianists fingers like lightning? Answer: They rarely strike the same place twice.

The audience at a piano recital was appalled when a telephone rang just off stage. Without missing a note, the soloist glanced toward the wings and called, “If that’s my agent, tell him I’m working!”

What do you call a goat that plays the piano? Answer: Billy Joel.

B flat, E flat, and G flat walk into a bar. The bartender stopped them and said, “We don’t serve minors.”

piano jokes

What do you call a snowman that plays the piano? Answer: Melton John

piano joke

What’s one of the hazards of being a pianist? Answer: People drop money in your drink.

piano jokes

What happens when you play Beethoven backwards? Answer: He decomposes.

piano jokes

What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music? Answer: A natural major

Funniest Piano Puns

There are a ton of piano puns to go around. Below are a few of our favorite piano puns. Share these with your musical friends and have a laugh.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? Answer: A-flat minor.

Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright? Answer: Because it makes a much bigger boom when pushed off a cliff.

Why did the two pianists have a good marriage. Answer: Because they were always in a chord.

Old pianists never die, they just adagio away.

To climb to the top of a tall piano, you must scale it.

Piano is not my forte.

Don’t date a piano technician, he’ll just string you along

Gimme’ a fifth of Beethoven on the Rachs.

Inspirational Piano Quotes

Need some inspiration to get you through a tough performance or practice session? Below are some inspirational (and humorous) piano quotes that will help keep you motivated.

“Piano: A cumbersome piece of furniture found in many homes, where playing it ensures the early departure of unwanted guests.” – David W. Barber

“The piano ain’t got no wrong notes.” – Thelonious Monk

“Everybody told me this ‘girl on the piano’ thing was never going to work.” – Tori Amos

“The piano has been drinking, not me”. – Tom Waits

“When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.” – Bob Hope talking about Phyllis Diller’s playing

piano jokes

“Life is like a piano. White keys are happy moments and black keys are sad moments. But remember, both keys are played together to give sweet music.” -Unknown

piano jokes

“To send light into the darkness of men’s hearts-such is the duty of the artist.”- Robert Schumann

piano jokes

“To play a wrong note is insignificant; toplay without passion is inexcusable.”- Beethoven

While difficult at times, learning how to play the piano should be fun. Lighten up the mood with one of these hilarious piano jokes, puns, or quotes.

Did we leave out any of your favorite piano jokes, pun, or quotes? Share them with us in the comments below!

Looking for more music fun? Check out these violin jokes, riddles and puns!

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Brooke Neuman
Brooke Neuman
Sours: https://takelessons.com/blog/piano-jokes-z06

29 Timeless Piano Quotes

Got something to say, say it with music! Or in this case, quotable piano quotes that famous musicians and great thinkers have said that are relatable to music.

Here is a collection of 29 timeless quotes to inspire and motivate!

FTC Disclosure: If you make a purchase via a link on this site, I may receive a small commission on the transaction - at no added cost to you. Learn more.

29 Piano Quotes for Inspiration & Motivation

Funny Piano Quotes

Piano Quote about Pedals

“Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.”

~ Victor Borge

“(Referring to the piano's natural shape) Isn't it a shame when those big fat opera singers lean against the pianos and bend them?” 

~ Victor Borge

"There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself."

~ Johann Sebastian Bach

"Over the piano was printed a notice: 'Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best'."

~ Oscar Wilde

“Have I a secret about playing the piano? It is a very simple one. I sit down on the piano-stool and make myself comfortable - and I always make sure that the lid over the keyboard is open before I start to play.” 

~ Artur Schnabel

Quotes for Piano Practice

Piano Mistakes Quote

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”

~Albert Einstein

"Success does not consist in never making mistakes but in never making the same one a second time."

~ George Bernard Shaw

“The piano ain’t got no wrong notes.”

Thelonious Monk

“An amateur practices until he can do a thing right, a professional until he can’t do it wrong.”

~ Percy C. Buck

"Simplicity is the highest goal, achievable when you have overcome all difficulties. After one has played a vast quantity of notes and more notes, it is simplicity that emerges as the crowning reward of art.”

~Frederick Chopin

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex, overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, then starting on the first one."

~ Mark Twain

“Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right.”

~ Henry Ford

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit."

~ Aristotle

“When you play, never mind who listens to you.”

~ Robert Schumann

Quotes for Musical Inspiration

Black and white piano keys

“The piano keys are black and white but they sound like a million colors in your mind.”

Maria Cristina Mena

''Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.''

~Albert Einstein

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

~Mark Twain

The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes - ah, that is where the art resides!

~Artur Schnabel

“The music is not in the notes, but in the silence in between.”

~Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

"A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence."

~ Leopold Stokowski

“There are eighty-eight keys on a piano and within that, an entire universe.” 

~ James Rhodes

“To play a wrong note is insignificant; to play without passion is inexcusable.”

Ludwig van Beethoven

Quotes About Musical Compositions

"Life can't be all bad when for ten dollars you can buy all the Beethoven sonatas and listen to them for ten years."

~ William F. Buckley, Jr

"The sonatas of Mozart are unique; they are too easy for children, and too difficult for artists."

~ Artur Schnabel

"Musical compositions, it should be remembered, do not inhabit certain countries, certain museums, like paintings and statues. The Mozart Quintet is not shut up in Salzburg: I have it in my pocket."

Henri Rabaud

Share Your Favorite Piano Quote!

Know a great piano quote? Don't keep it to yourself. Share it with other piano and music lovers!

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Philosophical Piano Quotes

Life is Like a Piano

"Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it."

~ Tom Lehrer

"Music is enough for a lifetime, but a lifetime is not enough for music."

~ Sergei Rachmaninov

“The piano is able to communicate the subtlest universal truths by means of wood, metal and vibrating air.”

Kenneth Miller

"Prayer is when you talk to God. Meditation is when you're listening. Playing the piano allows you to do both at the same time."

~Kelsey Grammer

Sours: https://www.onlinepianocoach.com/piano-quotes.html

Quotes funny piano

Oops. "The correct answer", once again with pressure (oh-oh-oh. with what pressure. I, weakened, tried to crawl to no avail, and discharges of the current of his touches passed all over my body), he began.

IGUDESMAN \u0026 JOO - Piano Lesson

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When he entered completely, Natalya began to slowly move it inside her vagina.

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