Coding in Java
Dinesh lives and works in the Hacker Hostel with Richard, Big Head, and Gilfoyle. He possesses a dry wit and skills at writing code, particularly Java. Dinesh often finds himself sparring with Gilfoyle.
He is originally from Pakistan but is a US citizen, unlike Gilfoyle. He claims it took him five years to get US citizenship and was asked about Al-Qaeda "like 14 times."
Single but wishful.
- “ I was already happy you got punched in the face, but now I’m super happy!”
- “I know Gilfoyle probably came in here and puked out a bunch of tech specs, three-fourths of which are total horse shit. Did he bring up the Iranian revolution thing? Yeah, those words mean nothing. But here's a fact, I'm the only one of these clowns that can code in Java and I write sleek performant low-overhead Scala code with higher order functions that will run on anything. Period. End of sentence.”— in the Cap Table
- “That's not really our logo is it? It looks like a guy sucking a dick and he's got another dick tucked behind his ear for later, like a snack dick.”— in Articles of Incorporation
- “I half-jokingly said to Gilfoyle last night it looks like Richard’s gonna suck Erlich’s dick. But that would be reasonable compared to this.”— in Fiduciary Duties
- “You’re probably right, she just wanted to fuck a Danish.”— in Third Party Insourcing
- “I should not have eaten all that Satanist chicken”— in Third Party Insourcing
The 15 Best Gilfoyle Quotes on 'Silicon Valley'
Mike Judge's Silicon Valley is a show about idiotic geniuses. Almost every cast member, whether it's faithful(?) Pied Piper leader Richard Hendricks (Thomas Middleditch), the incredibly awkward Jared (Zach Woods), or unscrupulous Jian Yang (Jimmy O. Yang), offers up hilarious moments, but no character is as consistently amusing as Martin Starr's extremely apathetic, LeVeyan Satanist systems architect Bertram Gilfoyle.
Starr is the king of deadpan, as fans of the comedic actor have known since his days as Bill Haverchuck on Freaks and Geek, and the writers for the HBO series clearly love giving him cutting and often politically incorrect one-liners to take down Dinesh (Kumail Nanjiani) in particular. As the show comes to an end with its sixth season, we've rounded up Gilfoyle's best lines from the entire show.
After he masterfully owns Dinesh by scamming him out of money that he accidentally invested in his cousin's startup:
"I’m effectively leveraging your misery. I’m like the Warren Buffet of fucking with you."
When Monica is forced to bear bad news:
"I’m sure you can find your way out with one of your two faces."
How he responds when billionaire Russ Hanneman spends way too much on a logo and asks if he knows what "synergy" means:
"Does it mean taking a stack of cash and lighting it on fire?"
His advice to Dinesh when he cannot keep his chill around women:
"Pretend you’ve seen a woman before."
When Dinesh is horny for the code he thinks the woman he's been crushing on programmed:
"I wrote that code. You said you were in love with her mind. You realize what's going on right? It's not her you're sexually attracted to. It's my code... Just face it, Dinesh, you're gay for my code. You're code gay."
When Pied Piper appears to fuck up publicly in front of everybody at the TechCrunch competition:
"At least it didn’t happen in a public and brutally embarrassing way."
His advice on how to hack into a company's system and find dirt on them, while also slamming their competence:
"If you're the CEO of a company, and you're dumb enough to leave your log-in info on a Post-It note on your desk, while the people that you ripped off are physically in your office, it's not a hack. It's barely social engineering. It’s more like natural selection."
How he ensures Richard stays humble, even after his company's finally secured funding and a fancy new office:
"It's hard to believe your pathological inability to make a decision finally paid off."
When Dinesh exclaims, while playing Solitaire on six monitors using a VR glove, that he feels like he's in The Minority Report:
"Except in reality, you're just a minority."
His suggestion on how to best fend for yourself when robots take over:
"If the rise of an all-powerful artificial intelligence is inevitable, well it stands to reason that when they take power, our digital overlords will punish those of us who did not help them get there. Ergo, I would like to be a helpful idiot. Like yourself."
When Dinesh's bright idea of spending his paycheck is buying not-so-hot gold chains:
"Oh, great. So, you can go back to the car wash and buy some more chains. Huh, Pakistani Mr. T?"
When Dinesh thinks he's video chatting the girl of his dreams, until the screen unfreezes, she actually gets a good look at his face, and proceeds to log off because she has plans with her "fiancé":
"Either she froze time, met and married the man of her dreams, unfroze time, and hopped back on to vid chat with you, or... you're the dogface. Which do you think it is? I'm on the fence."
The most effective merchandise review since Miranda Priestly, of Jared's Pied Piper jacket:
"If my mother was naked and dead in the street, I would not cover her body with that jacket."
How he ridicules Dinesh, after he reluctantly asks to be the CEO of Pied Piper:
"Spoken like a true leader. But since your failure as a leader is a virtual certainty, tolerating your short reign as CEO in exchange for a front-row seat to the disaster seems fair. Plus, if I'm wrong, which I'm not, I get rich. So I'm down with it, Dinesh."
When Jared asks what it is that he does (and unintentionally steps on his toes):
"What do I do? System Architecture. Networking and Security. No one in this house can touch me on that. But does anyone appreciate that? While you were busy minoring in gender studies and singing a cappella at Sarah Lawrence, I was getting root access to NSA servers. I was a click away from starting a second Iranian revolution. I prevent cross site scripting, I monitor for DDoS attacks, emergency database rollbacks, and faulty transaction handlings. The internet, heard of it? Transfers half a petabyte of data a minute, do you have any idea how that happens? All of those YouPorn ones and zeros streaming directly to your shitty little smart phone day after day. Every dipshit who shits his pants if he can't get the new dubstep Skrillex remix in under 12 seconds. It's not magic, it's talent and sweat. People like me ensuring your packets get delivered unsniffed. So what do I do? I make sure that one bad config on one key component doesn't bankrupt the entire fucking company. That's what the fuck I do. … Listen, wherever we end up here, I just want to say that I feel I should get more equity than Dinesh."
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Sadie Bell is the entertainment editorial assistant at Thrillist. She's on Twitter at @mssadiebell.
Our NewsletterSours: https://www.thrillist.com/entertainment/nation/hbo-silicon-valley-gilfoyle-quotes-one-liners
Bertram Gilfoyle, portrayed by Martin Starr, is a LaVeyan Satanist network engineer and system architect. Initially an undocumented immigrant from Canada, Gilfoyle successfully applied for a visa after being pressured by Dinesh Chugtai. Gilfoyle credits himself as an online security expert, and as such is responsible for system administration and server configuration at Pied Piper. Gilfoyle has a girlfriend Tara (Milana Vayntrub) who is also a LaVeyan Satanist, with the two having an open and long-standing relationship, though Tara still lies to Gilfoyle about sleeping with other men. Gilfoyle often plays mocking pranks on Dinesh, but the two do appear to be friends or at most, frenemies despite this, with the two often bonding over their shared moral ambiguity. While he is usually indifferent to Richard and lacks loyalty toward him, Gilfoyle highly respects Richard as a coder and admits that Pied Piper is nothing without Richard. Like Dinesh, Gilfoyle is quick-witted and merciless, but in contrast, highly apathetic, sardonic and brutally honest. He acts as the systems architect of Pied Piper. Gilfoyle is very confident in his abilities and has proven his worth to the Pied Piper team on multiple occasions, such as building the server farm "Anton", to save the company the struggle of paying for generic, mediocre servers in an office space. Due to this, Gilfoyle takes great pride in his security tech, becoming very nervous and confused whenever his tech is compromised. In season 5, Gilfoyle is promoted to senior management along with Dinesh with the title of "Chief Systems Architect". By Season 6, Gilfoyle is promoted to VP of Architecture at Pied Piper but refuses to take anyone under his management, preferring to work on the Systems Architecture by himself. This leads to continual conflict with Head of HR Tracy Robertson. After Pied Piper was shut down, Gilfoyle and Dinesh began to run a large cybersecurity firm together.
Ill say more. I blurted out about it to my friends yesterday. And what about your friends. They. I cheated on you yesterday.
And dinesh gilfoyle
Starting to roll up. By SMS, I tried to subtly hint, but she once again said that she was not allowed, and I added, and in the ass, too, is it impossible. This was followed by silence, after half an hour she wrote: you can try it, and thanked me for suggesting, because she did not.Silicon Valley - The Better Coder - Dinesh vs Gilfoyle S5E6
5 years and 1 of them have lived together, but only now. After another quarrel with the departure, we finally found peace and understanding, which could not but affect our sexual relations with her. Recently, for example, we perfectly celebrated her diploma. Jacuzzi, huge bed, cream, strawberries, champagne, a mirror that makes you feel like porn actors and a bunch of our toys.
Regarding the last points, I forgot to warn you: Fox and I are still perverts.
- Cleric beast parry
- Honeywell fireproof box
- 90 hp evinrude
- Css image orientation
- Adventure medical kits
- Decorative play mat
- Craigslist eugene or
Wildly excited me. Hunted ball and another desire for the next man. I want to touch her ass, he said in an excited, trembling voice.