Ex boyfriend text

Ex boyfriend text DEFAULT

IS IT TOO LATE TO GET YOUR EX BACK?

Text-from-your-ex

So, what’s the best way to contact your ex after no contact for quite some time?

I would recommend texting over calling because you have time to think about what to reply if you talk to your ex via text&#;

And you don&#;t have to worry about any awkward moments when both of you run out of things to say to each other.

After all, you have not been seeing each other for quite some time after the breakup.

Besides that, you might risk sounding desperate or sad over the phone when you talk to your ex.

I am assuming that you still have strong feelings for him.

In that case, you should go for text as the chances of you messing up will significantly diminish.

You should only make the phone call when you are very sure that you are in a good emotional state.

How To Text Your Ex Boyfriend After Breakup

Remember the 4 rules that I mentioned above and follow them when you text your ex.

That way, I am certain that you will be on the right path to rebuilding the connection with your ex.


Is It Too Late To Get Your Ex Back?

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What Exactly To Say To Your Ex In The Text?

A lot of readers wrote to me that they are having trouble finding things to say to their ex and also keeping the conversation going.

Sometimes, you can tell that your ex is not interested to reply to your texts if your ex just gives you short replies.

How do we deal with this situation?

If you sense that your ex is losing interest in continuing the conversation, you should just quickly cut the conversation short.

By keeping the conversation going, you will only make him feel annoyed.

Below is a collection of &#; Text From Ex&#;. This is NOT a good example to follow.

This is just to help you lighten up a bit before we move on to the real stuff.

Funny Text From EX

The 5 Different Types Of Text Messages

There are different types of text messages that you can use to help you get your ex back after a breakup.

Each type of text message serves a unique purpose.

It should be used as part of your plan to salvage your relationship with your ex and get him to view the relationship as something worth fighting for.

Text Messages That Help Start A Conversation With Your Ex

text your ex the wrong way

This type of text message helps you get a conversation started with your ex after you haven&#;t talked to each other for a while.

Warning: You shouldn&#;t put a lot of pressure on your ex to reply to your text message because your ex might not be ready to start talking again.

Forcing your ex to respond to your messages might push your ex further away and make your ex dread about receiving your text messages.

But let&#;s not forget our goal which is to start a conversation.

So, the right way to do it is to write text messages in a way that can allow your ex to respond if your ex wants to.

As this is the first contact after you have successfully followed &#;No Contact Rule&#;, your ex will definitely be wondering your purpose of texting your ex without a doubt.

So, you wouldn&#;t want to be very forward and don&#;t give him the clue that you want him back just yet.

A big NO-NO is to be inquisitive about his dating status.

Also, don&#;t ask your ex out for coffee or lunch yet!

Good Example:

I am headed out to XXX this weekend. It reminds me of the crazy trip we did.

Good Example:

I just came across a picture of us inside the hurricane simulator booth at the mall. Always makes me laugh. It made me think of you for the first time in a while. I hope you are doing great.


Is It Too Late To Get Your Ex Back?

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Text Messages That Put Positive Thoughts And Memories In Your Ex&#;s Mind

funny crazy things couple do together

We want to use this type of text message to bring back the good memories in your ex&#;s mind&#;

And make your ex start thinking about all the fun things you two have done together.

This is vital to help win your ex back because you are essentially letting your ex relive the good old times when your relationship was fun, flirtatious and exciting.

So, you need to use personal experience to customize your text message.

Good Example:

Ha. Remember the time when we were in XXX and we ended up wearing those stupid bear suits. I just found a picture. You look good in that panda suit.

Good Example:

Hey, real quick&#; What is the name of the restaurant with the best lamb shank we went for your 28th birthday?

Text Messages That Boost Intimacy With Your Ex

cheer up your ex boyfriend

You can use this type of message especially when you know that your ex is going through some tough times.

It shows that you are always there for your ex and you are always on their side.

It brings two of you instantly closer.

Good Example:

Hey, I was thinking that you must be really stressed about your exam next week. Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. I know you will do great.


Is It Too Late To Get Your Ex Back?

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Text Messages That Create Positive Jealousy In Your Ex

A-Little-Jealousy-In-A-Relationship-Is-Good

It is tricky to use this type of text message because if you are using it wrong, you might mess things up.

I want to emphasize the words &#;positive jealousy&#;.

This type of text message will show that you are okay with the breakup and you are out meeting new people and not sitting at home and crying your eyes out.

The rationale is that you will become more attractive and desirable when your ex experience a twinge of jealousy that comes from knowing that other people find you attractive post-breakup.

This tactic is called social proof which is very powerful. When other people find you attractive and fun, your ex is more likely to see you the same way as well.

However, you need to be subtle in your text message.

All you need to do is to hint that you are out with someone and had a good time and your ex&#;s mind will take care of the rest by filling in the details.

You will be getting into your ex&#;s mind without him/her realizing it.

Good Example: I just saw XXX( A Romance Movie) with a friend. You should see it. I think you would really enjoy it.

Text Messages That Turn Your Ex On

funny sexting

You only use this type of message when you are sure that things with your ex are getting better in the right direction.

The timing needs to be right because you wouldn&#;t want to get into bed with your ex only to find out that your ex feels that it might have been a big mistake the next morning.

Good Example:

I remember that XXX brand cologne you always wear when we go out. It still turns me on.

Good Example:

Hey babe. I just got out of the shower and started massaging my body lotion all over me. I got hot thinking about something you do to me…

Your Next Step

IMPORTANT: Before you try and get your ex back&#;

You need to first find out whether there&#;s still any hope in trying to get your ex back.

The last thing you want to do is to chase a relationship that will never come to fruition again.

Click the image below to take a short 2-minute quiz to find out whether it&#;s too late to get your ex back (it&#;s free!):is-it-too-late-quiz

Filed Under: How To Get Ex BackTagged With: how to text your ex back, what to say to ex after a terrible breakup, what to text your ex after breakup, what to text your ex after no contact for a long time

Sours: https://www.exbackin30daysblueprint.com/blog/how-to-text-your-ex-back/

Can&#;t Stop Breaking No Contact?: Get My Private Method Here

Text your ex back.

Can you really text your ex back? Is texting the best way to get your ex-boyfriend&#;s attention and reel him back into your life again?

For me, the answer is yes. Texting is that powerful.

I&#;m a big advocate of using text messages to rekindle a relationship. It was my go-to technique when I used to reach out to my exes in the past. It&#;s the primary method that I teach our clients when they&#;re ready to contact their exes.

But why is text messaging so powerful?

Because texting gives you all the time and space you need to craft the perfect message that your ex will want to hear. A text allows you to create a mix of ambiguity and excitement that triggers your ex&#;s curiosity and emotions.

In other words, if you know the techniques of writing a perfect text message (which I&#;ll show you in this article), then you can be in full control of the conversation.

Or your whole journey to get your ex back.

Sending a text is your best option compared to meeting in person, calling, or writing emails which you know your ex won’t bother to read.

Meeting or calling your ex will make you stumble for words if you can&#;t control your emotions. A nervous stutter from your voice can reveal your insecurity which your ex might assume your call is about getting back together.

Emails allow you to write long, desperate letters. I&#;m sure you will be spilling all the emotions and questions in your mind, sprinkled with a dozen apologies. Your ex isn&#;t going to open and read it if he sees it&#;s from you. So why waste all that effort when your ex-boyfriend isn&#;t going to read it?

Texting is your best option girl, especially if you want to get your ex-boyfriend back. Once you finish reading this article, you&#;ll be surprised how picking the right words will trigger the response you want from your ex.

One text is all it takes to get back on your ex&#;s radar.

RELATED: How To Text Your Ex The Right Way And Get A Response

Text Your Ex Using A Proven System

Once you understand the process and the techniques, you will learn how easy it is to craft persuasive, emotionally-charged texts that can rekindle his feelings for you.

One of the best resources that I&#;ve found on using texting in relationships is called Text Your Ex Back. It&#;s a program by a relationship expert called Michael Fiore that focuses on breakups and rekindling relationships. Texting is the main form of communication to get you on talking terms with your ex.

The Text Your Ex Back program covers everything from getting over your breakup to crafting smart texts to win back your ex.

RELATED: Michael Fiore’s Text Your Ex Back Review

I strongly recommend a guide like this to help you go through the breakup and the recovery process. If you don&#;t have any support, the process can be exhausting and hard. Just painful to get through the day with nothing to look forward.

I&#;ve personally practiced a lot of the ideas in the program before. In fact, I&#;ll be referring to some of the ideas in this article to show you how helpful a guide like this can be life-changing for you.

In this article, you&#;ll learn why texting is the best method to help you get your ex-boyfriend back. I will share some techniques along with some text examples to prove to you how effective texting can be to get the response you want from your ex.

Remember that excitement from your ex when he first laid eyes on you? I&#;m going to show you how to trigger that same look and bring back the good old memories.

Before You Send A Text&#;

Use texts to get your ex-boyfriend back.

It would be unprofessional for me to jump right into the techniques of texting your ex without doing some prep work. I know you&#;re here to learn more about it, but before we can get to the texting stages, you&#;ll need to work through these two checkpoints in order to prepare yourself for the right mindset.

  1. Do the 30 Day No Contact Rule.
  2. Understand what went wrong in your relationship.

I have separate articles for both of these two points above. So I&#;ll quickly touch upon these ideas to make sure you understand the entire process of getting your ex back.

By the time you absorb both of these points, you’ll have a stronger reason why you need to get back together with your ex-boyfriend.

Getting Your Life Back Together In 30 Days

The most important thing right now is to get you out of that miserable, lonely hole. The longer you are stuck in there, the harder it is for you to take control of your life.

This is the purpose behind the No Contact Rule: to give you time and space to recover from your emotional wounds. It&#;s also time for you to reflect on your life and decide what&#;s best for you.

In other words, it&#;s time for you to be selfish.

I can&#;t stress how necessary the No Contact Rule is. I know from personal experience how hard it is. I&#;ve failed it many times! But no matter how hard it is. Put down that phone!

Ladies, I know how hard it is to avoid your ex. But this is one of (if not the) most important parts of the process. You need to wait 30 days before contacting him. That&#;s it &#; bottom line.

The breakup is still too fresh. You still have too many wild emotions flying around to make meaningful contact with your ex.

Just think about it &#; do you really have anything thoughtful to say? At this point, you&#;re either fuming over the breakup or crying uncontrollably.

I made the mistake of contacting my ex during the first 30 days, and you know what happened? The two of us just went back and forth, throwing blame and anger at each other. We were still so hurt about the breakup. The wounds were still healing.

Trust me, I learned the hard way that waiting is the only thing you should (and can) do. Don’t make the same mistake as I did.

Don’t blow your second chance to make things right.

So, what do you do during the 30 days of no contact?

Work on you.

Pamper yourself. Get into shape, and spend some time on your mental and emotional well-being. Get out there and date other people. Go out with the girls. Get your confidence back.

Start being awesome again.

Improve your self-worth before you text your ex back.

Look, the No Contact Rule doesn&#;t have to be strict and hard. It can be natural and forgiving if you treat this period as a time block for yourself. A lot of people, including me, failed no contact because we viewed the silent treatment as a way to ignore our ex. But when we&#;re doing that, we are putting a lot of focus and energy to the idea of neglecting our ex, and not enjoying this time being single and free.

This is the wrong mindset.

Instead, channel your focus and energy to what matters to you — your family, friends, work, passions, and interests.

Focus on you.

The standard No Contact Rule everyone hears about is harsh and ineffective. Most women are just counting down days like some magic solution will appear on Day

For me, I&#;ve learned and taught an active version of the No Contact Rule.

It&#;s flexible and painless. The focus of my version is to liberate yourself and help you re-discover your feminine power. You need to learn to trust yourself again. Once you realize how much &#;influence&#; you have, the journey to get your ex back will be easier than you think.

RELATED: My Stress-Free No Contact Rule: The Definitive Guide

What Went Wrong In Your Relationship?

Use texting to win your ex-boyfriend back.

This is probably one of the hardest things to admit and work on. Which is why I talk about it separately to the No Contact Rule, although it is one of the things you do during this period.

It&#;s the elephant in the room. And here&#;s the question you need to answer.

Why did you break up? 

Now that you&#;ve solemnly sworn off contact, you can start your journey to understanding what went wrong.

It doesn&#;t matter if you were the dumper or got dumped; something in your relationship wasn&#;t clicking. The spark is gone, and you&#;re not attracted to each other anymore. Being together seems to be a burden.

Now let&#;s be honest here and admit the truth. What happened? Before you start pointing fingers and say it&#;s all your ex&#;s fault, remember that a relationship is a two-way street. You are just as much to blame as your ex.

For example, you initiated the breakup because your ex cheated on you. Do you think it&#;s entirely your ex&#;s problem? From the outside looking in, yes. But deep down, you have to ask yourself why your ex cheated on you.

There must be a reason why your ex decided to look for attention and comfort elsewhere because he wasn’t feeling it from you.

I know how hard it is to admit and seek the truth. But at this point, there&#;s no reason to shy away from being brutally honest with yourself. It&#;s even easier if you put the blame on yourself and try to fix those mistakes.

Call yourself out and accept the idea of judging yourself.

Do you really want to text your ex and get back together?

It&#;s hard to get this process started, or let alone, where do you begin? What questions do you ask yourself to dig out the truth?

New System To Get Back

The Text Your Ex Back program has a specific section to help you work through this process. It&#;s called Dumper and Dumped and calls on you to ask yourself a tough question: Why did you break up?

The exercises help you work through the breakup and understand what went down before your big fight. If you were the one that got dumped, then you must have heard one of these classic breakup excuses from your ex.

  • It’s not you, it’s me. (We’ve all heard this one before)
  • Our relationship isn’t going anywhere.
  • You don’t appreciate me, or I can’t relax.
  • I found someone else.

What do these reasons mean? There&#;s a lot of hidden indications in each of these excuses your ex throws at you. Once you know the hidden meanings behind the list of reasons your ex uses to break up with you, then you have a better idea of knowing what went wrong.

It&#;s a hard process, and I wouldn&#;t recommend doing it alone. It&#;s much easier if you have worksheets from a program to help you work through your thoughts.

If you face the pain now, you’ll have a better chance of winning and building a stronger relationship, whether it’s with your former flame or a new partner.

The last point I want to make is understanding the goal of this process. What you are trying to achieve here is to separate your ex-boyfriend from your old relationship and treat it like two different issues.

Your ex is a great guy. Let&#;s leave it at that for now.

Your old relationship is the problem.

Your goal is to move on from the old relationship and restart a new one with your ex.

Now let&#;s move on to texting.

RELATED: Should I Get Back With My Ex? 5 Reasons To Fight

Text Judo: The Art Of Texting An Ex

Use text messages to win your ex back.

Now that we have discussed the prep work that needs to be done before contacting your ex, let&#;s move on to how text messages can help you reach out to him.

In this section, you&#;ll get a sneak peek of Text Judo, the texting guide in Text Your Ex Back. I&#;m going to reveal different techniques and text examples from the program to show you how creative and powerful texting can be.

Once you know the techniques and templates, the power to craft desiring text messages will be at your fingertips.

You&#;ll be able to throw your words around like a true judo master.

The principles behind Text Judo are:

  • Texting is the most efficient and powerful way to communicate. You are in full control to craft the perfect message and send it at your own comfort.
  • You use what’s left from your relationship and harness the energy (positive or negative) into positive emotions you can mutually benefit from.

Are You Sending The Right Text To Your Ex?

Let&#;s do a simple exercise here. Take out a piece of paper or open a messaging app, and write/type the best text message you can think of sending to your ex.

Can be about any topic or situation. Your goal is to get him to reply positively.

Can’t think of something? Does your text look like anything below?

Hey, how are you?

Hey, I’m sorry about what happened. I didn’t mean for things to go wrong. Can we talk?

Hey, I still believe you are my soulmate, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right. Please come back.

Ladies, if you are sending any text messages that resemble any of the examples above, you need to stop right now. What you are doing (or thinking of doing) is just going to push your ex-boyfriend further away.

Just read the examples above out loud and see how it screams pity and desperation.

Do you think your ex will respond seeing a text like his?

Do you really want to go back into a relationship where you begged for love and acceptance?

No, you don’t.

This is why I recommend a program like Text Your Ex Back to show you how to properly craft the perfect text that your ex will happily reply to.

Don’t try to formulate the text message. Use one of the templates in the program and change it to your situation. I&#;ll show you some great text examples below.

RELATED: Video Explains How Text Your Ex Back Works

Why Use Text Messages To Get Your Ex Back?

Why use texts to get your ex back.

With texts, you are in full control of what you want to express, and when you want to send that message. All in the comfort of your home.

Before you hit that send button, you can reread and revise the text until you get it just right.

Trust me. A short text with the right words can do the trick and trigger the right response from your ex. You want to connect with your ex and rebuild that attraction and trust again.

Here’s the other important thing, you need to have a legitimate reason why are you texting your ex-boyfriend.

Wanting to get your former flame back is not a reason. It’s the end goal.

For example, your very first text is not only to say hi. But you need a specific reason why you are texting him. Usually, I would recommend asking for your ex’s help or expertise. It’s harmless enough that he will usually take the bait.

So here are a few rules that I usually abide by:

  • Have a specific topic to write about
  • Always be positive and exciting
  • Never brag or gloat about your new single life
  • Never send a negative text
  • Don’t expect a reply.

Even if you are asking for help, don’t let it bother you if your ex-boyfriend doesn’t reply. Maybe he’s busy or isn’t ready to talk to you. Perhaps he’s trying to find a way to write a good text back. Trust me. Men struggle with texting more than women.

If he doesn’t reply, take the silence as an indicator that he hasn’t moved on from the breakup. He needs more time for the time being.

At least the ball is in his court, and you can wait while moving forward with your awesome life.

If there’s no reply for a week or so, wait a few more weeks and hit him up with another text message. At some point, the man is going to be mature about the situation and send you a courtesy reply.

The 5 Phases of Text Judo

Powerful texts that will get your ex's attention.

Okay, now you know the power and importance of texting, let’s move on to the techniques and text examples.

Here’s the most important thing you need to remember: there are different types of texts to use depending on your situation with your ex. Don’t jump to advanced tactics when you’re sending your first text.

You might startle your ex and make him run further away.

Remember, each step of the texting plan is to slowly trigger a positive response that your ex feels is harmless to engage. You want to be as neutral as possible in the very beginning while testing the waters.

This is why the Text Judo guide is split into five phases. You will learn about all the five phases below, including text examples I’ve used in the past to coach my clients.

Here are the five phases of Text Judo:

  1. Let the Contact Begin
  2. Test The Waters
  3. Validate Your Ex’s Feelings
  4. Translate Your Emotions
  5. Connect The Dots

Phase 1: Start Contact With A Gentle Text

Phase 1 is all about breaking the ice and initiating contact with your ex — nothing else.

The only text technique to use: Across the Bow Texts.

How does it work? With the G.E.A.R. method. Let me explain.

G = Gently
Keep it light and simple. Now’s not the time to dredge up any emotions.

E = Establish
This step is all about initiating contact and setting up the foundation for future work. In other words, don’t start asking your ex to meet up or talk. In fact, don’t even bring up your past relationship.

A = Affirmative
Always send positive texts. The goal here is to get rid of the negativity and start over. You can’t do this if you’re sending negative messages filled with anger or blame.

R = Rapport
Inspire conversation. Don’t just send meaningless texts, or worse, bombard your ex with messages. Send him messages that he can respond to.

Don’t ask him to get together. And remember, this is not a booty call, and you won’t be able to fix your relationship with just these initial texts. Ladies, you’re setting up the groundwork for a stronger, better relationship with these texts.

Here are some Across the Bow text examples to give you an idea of what kind of messages you’ll be sending:

Example of Across the Bow texts.

If your ex responds in a positive way, you can start sending a few Best of Relationship Texts. These texts bring up positive memories. Taking a trip down memory lane will help him remember the good times you shared.

You need to be careful here, though. Only send these texts if he responds positively to your initial messages.

If you send a memory text too quickly, your ex may be on to you thinking you’re making a move. Don’t try to pick out the best moment in your relationship. But use a memory that you guys talk about a lot and sounds neutral.

Stay out of any memories that celebrate your anniversary or big dates. Surprises for Valentines or your birthday are also a no go.

Here are some great examples of Best of Relationship texts:

Example of Best of Relationship texts.

Or a sneaky little trick to get your ex to remind you of an experience. Bet you he’s wondering why you’re asking.

Example of a sneaky Across the Bow text.

Remember, in Phase 1, you’re trying to initiate contact to see if your ex will respond. Keep the texts light and friendly. Make it as harmless as possible so your ex-boyfriend doesn’t feel there’s an agenda behind it.

Phase 2: Text To Show You Still Care

In this phase, we start to get a little more intimate with your ex by showing him support. Let him know you still care.

We do this by testing the waters with Intimacy Booster Texts.

Examples of Intimacy Booster Texts.

Maybe your ex is going through a tough time, and you want to let him know that you’re there for him. Or, perhaps his mom’s birthday is coming up, and you want to remind him. These texts drop little hints that you still care and remember things that are important to him.

Make this text all about your ex. Give him a subtle sign that you are rooting for him and that you’re still his cheerleader. Just don’t get too excited in your text that you know everything that’s going on with him.

Also, don’t send a reminder about something your ex might find surprising to hear from you. That will set off the stalker alarm!

The simple fact that you sent a short and sweet text will bring smiles to your ex. It shows that you still care, which is a big boost to him if he finds it helpful.

With Intimacy Booster texts, don’t expect a reply here. If you get a smiley face or a simple “thanks,” then congrats to you! That’s a huge sign that your ex appreciates you.

Phase 3: Validate Your Ex’s Feelings With A Hot Text

Texts that your ex-boyfriend will love to hear from you.

Phase 3 is all about validation. This is where things start to get a little hot. It’s now time to stop playing games and let your ex-boyfriend know how you feel.

This is where you dig deep and let your heart speak. This is the moment you lay all your cards on the table, and honestly express your feelings to your ex.

I know honesty can be tough. But at some point, you have to stop beating around the bush. You’re not making a big move to get back together yet. That’s your ex’s job.

What you’re doing here is being honest with your ex about your feelings towards him.

Take all the time you need to prepare for this phase because it’s a big one. Your chances are not over if you messed up here. But keep in mind that you want to present a new version of yourself who your ex-boyfriend is willing to give a second chance to.

In this phase, you will be using Emotional Honesty Texts. Luckily there are different types of Emotional Honesty texts to choose to suit your situation and comfort.

There are a few ways to do this:

Appreciation Text Messages
Tell him what you appreciate about him. For example, “I really appreciate how you were there for me when my grandmother passed away.” Let him know that you’re grateful he’s in your life. A little gratitude goes a long way.

Compliment Text Messages
Compliment him, and be confident about it (here’s a great list). Here’s one of my favorite examples of Michael Fiore’s text messages that work really well: “I’ve always loved your hands.” It’s so simple but so powerful.

“What I Miss” Text
Let him know what you miss about him, and be specific. Use sights, smell, and sensory images to bring those memories back to life.
*
“How I Feel” Text
Tell him how you feel. These are tricky. You need to be confident, and you need to be simple. If your message stinks of desperation, you may turn him off – for good. Here’s a great example of this type of text: “It’s funny, but sometimes I really crave you. I always felt so calm and safe around you.”

Examples of Emotional Honesty Texts.

Don’t let these texts scare you. Being honest is difficult, but he needs to know your true feelings. He’ll respect you more for that.

Phase 4: Gain Attraction With GEM Text

Now it’s time to translate those emotions into attraction and closeness using Green-Eyed Monster Texts and Attraction Texts.

We all know how powerful jealousy can be. We want what other people have, and we get protective when other people try to take what’s “ours.” Green-Eyed Monster, or GEM, texts use jealousy in a positive way, but your timing has to be right, and you need to be at least a little subtle about it.

Remember, you’re sending these texts to get his attention – not make him angry. Your goal is to flirt a little by drawing jealousy and curiosity from your ex.

Make sure you bring up a topic or even that your ex is interested in so that he has some interest in it rather than the mere fact that you did something with someone else. If the text contains a topic or event that your ex isn’t interested in, then he’s going to see right through the text that you’re trying to make him jealous for another agenda.

Again, make the focus of the text about the topic/event your ex is interested in, not you.

Here’s an excellent GEM text example to understand how this all ties together.

Example of Jealousy Texts

See how subtle, but powerful this message is? You’re letting him know you were out with someone else, but without throwing it in his face. And let’s be honest – he’s going to assume you were out with another guy. At this point, his old protective instincts will kick in, and he’ll start wanting you even more than he did before this stage.

You will be getting right into his mind without him even realizing it.

Making him jealous will rekindle his attraction for you, and once this happens, you can start sending Attraction texts. I’ll warn you, though, these are text messages that will make him want you. You need to make sure that you send these at the right time, and you need to keep it virtual.

Bring up a sexy story. Remind him of a sexy characteristic that you love about him.

Examples of Attraction Texts.

Phase 5: Seal The Deal And Meet Your Ex

Texts your ex will be attracted to.

We are now in the last phase which you’re ready to seal the deal. By this point, you should be able to get your ex’s attention, establish a basic emotional and physical connection, and show that you’re emotionally mature and interested.

Your goal here is to transfer your texting relationship to an actual meet up! That’s right, time to close on your ex-boyfriend with Seal the Deal Texts.

This one is easy since you have been texting for a while now.

Hey, I’m around your area tomorrow for a meeting. Wanna catch up for coffee?

Make it as simple and casual as possible. If your ex-boyfriend opposes or has second thoughts, you can either drop it like it&#;s no big deal or give a simple nudge that it’s just coffee.

Personally, if my ex isn’t sure about meeting up (for coffee), I would reply something like this:

Okay, no worries. My meeting ends at 3 pm. Let me know if you change your mind. Enjoy your day.

See how that makes you the boss!

A Little Disclaimer About Text Judo

Okay, now that you have an idea of how Text Judo can help you text your ex back, you need to use the tactics carefully.

I wanted to add in a little disclaimer here just to make sure that you are not using the techniques for the wrong reasons.

Text Judo is not about manipulation or tricking your ex into getting back together. If your ex is truly over you, there may be no hope for your relationship.

But if your ex still has even an ounce of feelings for you, this system will work. The messages you send will be powerful, and they’ll bring back old memories that will rekindle his old feelings for you.

If you want to get Text Judo a try, get the full blueprint and more text examples in the Text Your Ex Back program.

RELATED: Want To Try The Text Your Ex Back Program? Click Here.

Text Your Ex Back

Can you text your ex back?

Is it possible to get your ex back by text messaging?

Yes, It’s possible if you follow a strategy and use smart text messages that your ex will respond positive to.

It worked very well for my clients and me.

Texts are so easy to use and apply once you know the right techniques and the process. Text Judo is one of the best blueprints you can use to guide you through every step.

Take out the guesswork. Just follow the text examples and hit send.

Texting relieves the emotional tension and awkwardness that usually occurs in a phone call or meeting in person. You simply don’t want to start on a bad note and ruin your chances.

But before you text him, make sure you fully understand the reason you are reaching out to your ex and what kind of response you expect from you.

Get My Guide On Dealing With Breakups: Breakup Is Over

Wait, Do You Still Have A Chance?

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Sours: https://exbackexpertise.com/text-your-ex-back/
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3 Simple Texts to Send Your Ex-Boyfriend to Make Him Want You

When you’re thinking about texts to send your ex-boyfriend, you want to avoid the mistakes that most people make. Most people end up freaking out their exes simply because their hearts haven&#;t healed and they’re allowing emotion to get in the way.

We want to avoid that, don&#;t we?


It&#;s my goal in this video and this article to ensure that you don&#;t end up looking like a fool by sending an over-the-top emotionally charged text to your ex.

But at the same time, I know the compulsion to text your ex-boyfriend is strong, so I&#;m going to share three types of texts it&#;s absolutely okay to send to your ex&#;once you’ve gone through the healing process.

Your Coach,

 

 

 

 

Introduction

texts to send your ex-boyfriend

Get tips on texts to send your ex-boyfriend.

You and your fella broke up a few days ago, and your heart hurts. You can&#;t imagine life without him. You don&#;t want to. So your first inclination is to run back and tell him how much you&#;re hurting and that you miss him.

I&#;m going to ask that you go against your (irrational) instinct here and take my advice instead.

Now, let&#;s go back to me saying that it&#;s better to not send a text to your ex than to look desperate.

I know you want this guy back.

Maybe he knows it too.

But under no circumstances should you text him how much you miss him&#;at least not yet.

And before you try out even one of these three types of texts, I really really want you to follow the No Contact Rule: that means you don&#;t interact with your ex for three weeks.

Adam! How am I supposed to win this guy back if I give him time to forget me??

You&#;re going to have to trust me on this, Sexy Lady. I&#;ve seen this movie a few hundred times, and I can categorically say that having a break after a breakup is the absolute best thing you can do&#;whether you get back together with him or not.

So read this article, then wait 21 days before you send those texts to your ex.

And during that three weeks? Get on with your life. Work on healing. Figure out what you really and truly want in a relationship. It might turn out that, with a bit of time and space, you don&#;t even want him back after all. So use this time to figure it all out.

Once you do, and if you still want him back, here are some texts to send your ex-boyfriend that are Sexy Confidence approved&#;that won’t make you look desperate.

1. Reminiscing Texts to Send Your Ex-Boyfriend

man in bar

Remind him of a restaurant you loved going to together.

One way to make your ex miss you is to remind him of the happy times you&#;ve had together in the past. After all, things were good while you were together, despite whatever happened to end the relationship. So focus on happy reminders of the past:

I finally got around to visiting that brewery that was on our Must Do list. You’d love their Belgian Tripel.

There are several moments you might want to remind him of in your relationship, including:

  • When you met
  • A special place you enjoyed together
  • An event you attended together
  • A vacation you took
  • Something you never got to do together but wanted to (like the example above)

Ideally, this text will put him in a good mood and get the dialogue going. If you haven&#;t talked to each other in three weeks or more, you might shoot the shit about that memory for a while, then the conversation might go something like this:

Him: Those were good times&#;how are you?

You: I&#;m doing okay, I guess&#;

You see how you leave your reply a little up for interpretation. You didn&#;t say I&#;m doing freaking fantastic! so he might think, hm, maybe she&#;s missing me like I&#;m missing her.

Where you take that conversation from here is up to you. Just avoid laying all your cards on the table (I miss you so goddamn much!) until you&#;re sure he feels the same.

2. &#;I&#;m Doing Fantastic&#; Texts to Send Your Ex-Boyfriend

night club

Subtly let him know you&#;re doing well and have a life.

Another strategy a bit different from the one above when texting your ex to make him miss you is to show him that you have a thriving social life. You&#;re getting out there, hanging with friends, being social. And you want him to know without being blatant about it.

So this text serves two purposes: it lets him know you&#;re not sitting around pining for him&#;but it also gives you the opportunity to connect with him after not talking for a while. Send a text like this:

What was the name of that dance club you told me about? I’m planning an outing for a group of friends.

You&#;re not inviting him along. You&#;re asking for a piece of information&#;and hopefully, this text opens the door for a longer text conversation. If he&#;s curious about your outing and asks if he can come, consider it&#;or suggest you meet for coffee to chat instead. The good thing is that he wants to see you, but tagging along with a large group of friends (particularly if they know you&#;re broken up) might not be the best reunion channel.

Here&#;s what the followup to that text might be:

Him: Oh, you mean Nightshades? Man, I haven&#;t been there since we went last spring.

See how he&#;s pulling a Reminder Text on you? This is a great sign because now he&#;s the one reminding you of the good times that you had together.

One note on the &#;I&#;m Doing Fantastic&#; texts: don&#;t lie or try to contrive some excuse to text him. Really be going out with friends. Otherwise, you might get caught in a web of lies, which would be&#;awkward!

3. Advice-Asking Texts to Send Your Ex-Boyfriend

woman wondering

Asking him for advice is a great way to break the ice.

Here&#;s the final type of text to send (though I offer 29 texts to send your ex-boyfriend at WinningHimBack.com, so be sure and check that out), and it plays off of the male need to be useful.

(It&#;s true: we do like to solve problems. Dr. Lisa Neff, a researcher at the University of Texas&#; Austin Marriage Project, found that men feel competent and reduce their stress when they are helping solve a problem. So whereas you as a woman might just want a partner to lend a sympathetic ear, a man will feel like he has to help you solve whatever problem you have with advice.)

So come up with something that your ex can answer intelligently. You&#;ll play to his ego and get a conversation started. For example:

Hi! I need your expert opinion on solar. If you could invest in it again, would you? Trying to decide if it’s worth it&#;

Immediately he&#;s feeling pretty good after reading your text because clearly you think he&#;s an expert at something and you value his opinion. But again: this won&#;t work if you just dream up something to ask him about that you really don&#;t care about. Imagine getting caught in that lie months later:

Him: So hey, what did you ever decide about solar? Did you invest?

You: Solar whaa? What are you talking about?

Him: A few months back, you asked what I thought about solar&#;

You: Er&#;I did??

Again: AWKWARD.

Conclusion:

If you notice the common thread here with each of these texts to send your ex-boyfriend, you&#;ll see that none of them have to do with your relationship (the reminiscing texts do to some degree, but not completely). They all show that you&#;re moving on (even if secretly you want him back) and that you&#;re doing okay.

Nothing is sexier than a woman who can stand on her own without a man. The irony is that he&#;ll want you back because you&#;re doing so well and are so independent post-relationship.

But be careful here, because how you handle things after these initial texts will determine the likelihood of a reunion. Even as the conversation opens up, hold back your misery and heartache. Yes, you miss him, and it&#;s okay to say that after you&#;ve been talking for a few days, but you might not want to let him know that you&#;ve been blubbering like a baby on the bathroom floor for weeks (especially if it turns out he&#;s dating someone).

Maybe skip that factoid.

Because you&#;ve had those three weeks, you&#;ve been able to reflect on what went wrong in the relationship, as well as what your role was. I assume that if you want to get back together, you&#;re not pointing the finger too much at him, but there are always two people responsible for a breakup, so be able to list your own mistakes as well as his diplomatically. Your best hope for getting back together is to have a frank discussion about the relationship, including how you can avoid making the same mistakes.

The key to making things work the second time around is to do things differently. So be open to dialogue about:

  • What went wrong
  • What mistakes each of you was responsible for (without blame or anger)
  • What you want in the future
  • How you can avoid issues
  • How you can open up communication so things don&#;t derail in the same way

Don&#;t expect that getting back together will happen with a few texts. It needs to be an ongoing dialogue over days or weeks. And take things slowly: just because you were with this guy for months or even years in the past doesn&#;t mean you shouldn&#;t start at Square One and begin anew by dating. Get to know each other all over again. Maybe in the time you&#;ve been apart, you&#;ve changed, so it will take time to get to know one another again. And that&#;s a good thing!

Do you have tips on texts to send your ex-boyfriend that have worked for you? Please share them in the comments below.

 

how to text your ex
Sours: https://lovestrategies.com/texts-to-send-your-ex-boyfriend/

This Is When You Should Text an Ex (And When You Shouldn't)

Getting over a breakup is never easy. After you've invested time in a person, formed a meaningful bond, and gotten used to having them as a central part of your life, it's hard to cut ties entirely. It's no surprise, then, that the urge to text your ex can be almost unbearable. You may feel the need to give them a piece of your mind, you might want to tell them you miss them terribly, or perhaps you just want to see how they're doing. When it comes to texting your ex, there is no right or wrong answer, but if you've felt the urge to make contact, you know how agonizing the decision can be. To make the decision-making process easier, we tapped Fran Walfish, PsyD., for some expert advice.

Meet the Expert

Fran Walfish is a Beverly Hills family and relationship psychotherapist, author, and TV personality.

Keep scrolling for everything you need to know about when it's ok to text an ex, and when it's best to put down your phone.

Why We Feel The Urge to Text an Ex

"Many people can't stop thinking about their ex obsessively to ease a feeling of loneliness. Others, who truly loved their ex, can't let go. Some are afraid of getting out there again, so they keep their former relationship alive as a way of staying involved and not feeling single again," Walfish explains. But according to the psychotherapist, there's only one way to truly let go of our ex: dating. "The key factor is the readiness to (finally!) let go."

When thinking about someone constantly, it can be hard not to get the urge to text them, but Walfish insists that looking forward is the healthy thing to do. "Everyone holds on for a different length of time. Some people avoid the pain of loss and grief by texting their ex. Others who have been deeply hurt may close the vault to their heart [and] shut it away under lock and key. You need to know yourself and respect your personal timing," Walfish says. Try dating again when you're ready, and in the meantime, it's fine to stay in touch with your ex via text; just make sure they aren't rejecting you or causing you any pain.

When It's Acceptable to Text Your Ex

According to Walfish, there's definitely a time when it's acceptable to text your ex—particularly when there are signs that you two might be able to reconcile. "These signs include that they express and demonstrate genuine accountability and remorse for having hurt you. Another sign is that your ex demonstrates change with continuity," Walfish says. "Anyone can change for a moment, but being flexible and sustaining real change is the key we're looking for in a life partner."

If you feel that this is your case, the psychotherapist says that there's no set time frame for how long to wait before reaching out. "Only you can take your own emotional temperature," she says. "Feelings change from moment to moment. If it feels right, go for it." Just remember: The key to reaching out to an ex is to expect absolutely nothing.

"You'll be joyfully surprised if you get a positive response," Walfish notes. "Expectations lead to letdowns and disappointments."

When to Refrain From Texting Your Ex

There's a time when it's definitely not acceptable to text your ex, and according to Walfish, that's when they enter a new relationship. "This is pivotal in the grieving process. Most folks entertain a certain fantasy that reconciliation of romance and all-good love will resume. When you learn your ex has a new relationship, the ending and death of the fantasy must be faced, and the true mourning process begins," she says. "The depth of pain of the loss of love is usually felt at this point, and recovery is quicker because time has passed during the fantasy/hope phase. Learning that your ex has a new relationship forces you to move on with your life, and, painful as it feels, it is really a golden gift in disguise."

Even if your ex is still (to the best of your knowledge) single, the psychotherapist warns against another scenario in which it's perhaps not the best idea to reach out. "It's no longer acceptable to text when you keep getting blamed for all things gone wrong, when there's no shared responsibility, or when you're virtually in this relationship alone," she explains.

The question is how to know the difference between neediness and/or the impulse to return to a negative relationship and the hope for an improved relationship with your ex. The answer is self-awareness.

"One must be brutally honest at all times, including when we experience our deepest pain," Walfish says. "It is natural and absolutely normal to feel needy. We are interdependent beings who need each other. We can only come to another person as a complete and separately contained whole individual without the expectation of the other filling up gaps and holes. Two wholes equal the best couple."

Thinking About Writing a Closure Letter To Your Ex? Read This First

Sours: https://www.brides.com/this-is-when-you-should-text-your-ex

Text ex boyfriend

Saying goodbye might just be one of the hardest things you can do. Even if you know you’re going to see the person in question again, goodbyes can get tearful and emotional.


You can take those tears and emotions and multiple them by a hundred when it comes to talking to your ex-boyfriend. Breakups are terrible and having to walk away from someone that you had real feelings for is never easy.

Sometimes, it’s easier to just fade from existence and ghost your ex rather than giving him a farewell. But what if you need the closure?

We’ve written thirty goodbye texts for your ex-boyfriend if you find yourself struggling to figure out what to say.

When to Text Him Good-Bye

"There are times when you’ll be able to move on more easily if you’ve said your last word."

It’s no secret that texting your ex usually isn’t a good idea. Generally, it just leads to further heartbreak and tears that you would have been better off not wasting.

That’s why, if you read about talking to exes online, most other articles will tell you that you should never do it…and most of the time, we’re inclined to agree. Most of the time.

We do think that there are times when you’ll be able to move on more easily if you’ve said your last word.

So, when should you text your ex goodbye? We say you should go for it if the breakup is recent (texting him goodbye out of the blue after years is just weird), if you’re preparing to end the relationship, or you absolutely need the closure to heal.

Avoid texting him goodbye at all if you don’t feel safe talking to him or if he was particularly toxic. He doesn’t deserve your words at this point. If you still feel as if you absolutely have to say something to him in those circumstances, we recommend writing him a letter that pours out your feelings…then burning it or flushing it down the toilet.

This will still give you a therapeutic feeling of closure without putting you in an uncomfortable situation.

Need more help composing your text to him? We suggest looking at this Text Chemistryprogram. It will give you tons of text templates to use if you find yourself short on words.

Further Reading: Why is My Ex-Boyfriend Always On My Mind?

Goodbye Texts for Your Ex-Boyfriend

We understand that there are different situations in which you’ll be saying goodbye to your ex-boyfriend, and therefore different outcomes you’ll be looking for.

Read Also:How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Fast

That’s why we’ve divided this list of texts into two categories: texts to send to him when you want to talk to him again eventually, and texts to send when you want him out of your life permanently. We’ll also explain when each text template would work best.

Goodbye Texts for When You Want to Talk to Him Again

  • “I’ve done some thinking, and I’ve realized that we need some time apart. I still care about you, but I need some space for awhile.”

Great For: When you have feelings for him but need time to breathe and think about your next course of action.

  • “Hey, I know we’ve both tried our best in this relationship, but I don’t think it’s working for us. I think it would be better for us to go our separate ways for now.”

Great For: When you want to end the relationship on a more neutral note, leaving it open for future discussion.

  • “I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I don’t feel this relationship is best for us right now. If it’s at all possible, I’d like us to step away from this and be friends down the road when we’re feeling more comfortable.”

Great For: When you want to break up, but also want to let him know you’re interested in being friends. Be sure to check out our guide on why your ex-boyfriend is asking your friends about you if you start to hear that he’s trying to get to you indirectly.

  • “We’ve had a lot of great times together and I’m so grateful to have you in my life. As much as it hurts me, I believe it would be best for us to end our relationship. If you’re okay with it, I’d like us to be friends in the future.”

Great For: When you’re looking for a more expressive and remorseful way of breaking up and remaining friends.

  • “Hey. I know we haven’t talked for awhile, but I’ve been wondering how you’re doing lately and I would like to talk to you about some things.”

Great For: When he’s been ghosting you and you want to get some closure before saying goodbye.

  • “You really hurt me, and I need time to heal. Maybe when I’ve had that time, we can talk again, but goodbye for now.”

Great For: When he caused the breakup with his own harmful actions, but you’re open to discussion with him in the future.

  • “There’s definitely more we can discuss, but I need breathing room. Give me some time to recover and maybe we’ll talk about this more in the future.”

Featured Article: How to Text a Guy (The Ultimate Guide)

Great For: When either you or him ended the relationship through harmful actions. Use this when there’s more you want to talk to him about, but you need to think first.

  • “Thank you for all the happy memories we shared. Good luck and goodbye.”

Great For: When you want to break up in a way that’s short, sweet, and to the point. The neutral tone makes it easier to talk to him later.

  • “It’s best for both you and me if we step back for some time. I’ll reach out to you again when and if I’m ready.”

Great For: When you need breathing room but want to speak to him again eventually.

  • “This isn’t goodbye forever, but it IS goodbye for now. Take care.”

Great For: When you want to clearly get your point across that you need space. Use something like this when he isn’t understanding what you want and you need to be a little sharper.

  • “I’m so sorry I have to say this, but this relationship isn’t for me. Maybe we can be friends eventually.”

Great For: When you’re looking for a softer way to end the relationship.

  • “At this point in our time, our relationship just isn’t as healthy as it should be. Let’s take a break for now and re-evaluate things once we’ve had some time to think.”

Great For: When you’re not necessarily looking to break up permanently and just need time apart for a bit.

  • “I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now. I need some time by myself to think about what I’m looking for. I’m sorry.”

Great For: When you’re just not happy in the relationship and it’s not anyone’s fault.

  • “I know I’ve hurt you and that I’m hurting you again right now. I’d like space for now, then we talk things through more at a later time.”

Great For: When you know you’ve done something wrong and want to apologize.

  • “I truly think it’s better for us if we split up. I want you to be happy.”

Great For: When you think you’re not the best match for him.

Goodbye Texts for When You Want Him Gone for Good

What if he’s been immature, mean, or downright toxic to you?Then chances are, you’re better off without him in your life.

So what if your ex-boyfriend has been the one hurting you? What if he’s been immature, mean, or downright toxic to you?

Then chances are, you’re better off without him in your life, and these are the texts you can use to get that point across:

  • “I know it’s not easy to hear, but I really don’t feel that we’re a good match. Goodbye, and I hope you’re able to find happiness with someone else.”

Great For: When you don’t want to talk to him again, but don’t want to get petty about it.

  • “Look, we’re not healthy for each other. It’s best for us both if we have a clean break. Goodbye.

Great For: When you want to end the relationship but avoid fighting and name-calling.

  • “I’m done with you. Please don’t contact me again.”

Great For: When he won’t stop trying to talk to you and you want to be clear with him without resorting to cruelty.

  • “Talking to you causes me too much pain. I wish you all the best, but I’ll be blocking you after this for my own good.”

Great For: When he won’t get the hint after you’ve said goodbye once. You can also use this right away when you want to explain to him why you’re disappearing before saying goodbye.

  • “We’re finished. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

Great For: When you want to get a little sassy with your goodbye text. This adds a kick to your words without getting unnecessarily toxic.

  • “I just don’t think this relationship is working. As much as I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, it’s better if we stop talking to each other.”

Great For: When the relationship wasn’t necessarily bad, but you don’t want to talk to him anymore.

  • “Nothing lasts forever, and I think we’ve reached the end of our relationship. Thank you for all the memories, but it’s better if we have a clean break.”

Great For: When your breakup is close to neutral and you don’t want him your life afterward.

  • “We need to end things. This relationship isn’t working for me. Goodbye.”

Great For: When you need to be clear and pointed with him about your breakup.

  • “I don’t want to hurt you, but I can’t stay in this unhealthy relationship. Best of luck to you, and goodbye.”

Great For: When you want to say goodbye without hurting his feelings any more than necessary.

  • “I’ve had enough of the toxicity and fighting. Goodbye. Have a good life.”

Great For: When you had a bad breakup, and just want everything to be done.

  • “I think we’ve reached a dead end in our relationship, and there’s no going back. I’m glad I met you, but it’s better if we go on our own paths now.”

Great For: When things aren’t working, and you want to let go of him.

  • “If there’s one thing I can say about our relationship, it’s that you’ve made me stronger. Now I’m strong enough to walk away from you.”

Great For: When you’re done with his crap and you’ve learned your lesson.

  • “We’ve said everything there is to say. I’m done talking to you.”

Great For: When he won’t stop pestering you after you say goodbye.

  • “It’s hard to say goodbye to someone who wasn’t really ever there, but goodbye, anyway. Hope you can find what you’re looking for with someone else.”

Great For: When he was never really present in your relationship.

Great For: When you want to keep things short and simple. Sometimes, you don’t need anything more than a basic goodbye.

You May Also Like: What to Text Your Ex-Boyfriend to Make Him Want You Back

Stop the Goodbye Before it Can Happen

Breakups are sometimes inevitable, but at other times they just seem that way. There are things you can do in the relationship to prevent that goodbye from ever occurring.

If you’re curious about what you could do to keep any guy completely loyal to you and only you, you’ll need to learn how his mind works. This article will reveal the one thing that all men desire, but will never tell you.

With the knowledge you’ll gain from the course, you’ll be able to hook the guy of your dreams in and make him want to say.

You can also check out our guide to how to get your ex-boyfriend back using male psychology.

Sours: https://connectioncopilot.com/goodbye-texts-for-your-ex-boyfriend/
People Read The Last Texts From Their Exes

Text messages are one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal when you are trying to get your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend back. But you must use them correctly or you might end up losing your ex forever.

This in-depth guide will tell you how to use text messages correctly (with examples) when you are trying to win your ex back.

Why text messages and how you can use them to get your ex back?

If you call your ex all of a sudden, they will probably think that you want something from them.

If you send your ex an email, it’ll be impossible to have a conversation with them. This makes it look like you don’t want to speak with them, alluding to the conclusion that you want to move on or you just want closure.

But a text message has the right amount of ambiguity. It leaves enough doubt for your ex to wonder what is going on with you and why you are contacting them. This curiosity gives you a unique opportunity to make them attracted to you again. To build rapport. To build trust.

But there’s a catch. You can’t just text anything to your ex whenever you want and expect them to start feeling attracted to you. Would you feel attracted to someone who texted you something like this?

Hey, I desperately want you back. Please come back to me

Or

I don’t think I can ever find someone like you. Please come back.

Or

I am sorry for cheating on you with your best friend. I’ll never do it again. Please come back.

You cannot simply send them anything that comes to your mind. In fact, if you text your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend the wrong way or at the wrong time, you will most likely turn them off and make them lose attraction, connection and trust. And that’s where I come in.

My name is Kevin Thompson and I’ve been helping people with breakups and getting their ex back for the past five years. Over the years, texting has become an important tool to reconnect with your ex after a breakup. So I decided to create the ultimate guide for the art of using text messages to get your ex back.

This guide is designed to help you get your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend back with the right text messages at the right time. Text messages that build attraction, connection and trust. It’ll teach you how to text your ex for the first time after no contact, how to turn your text messages into deep meaningful conversations and it’ll teach you how to transition from text messages to a phone call or a date.

This guide has five parts.

  1. When you should text your ex
  2. The Basics of texting your ex
  3. Texting your ex for the first time
  4. Using Text Messages to Rebuild Attraction, Connection and Trust
  5. Transitioning from Text Messages to a Phone or a date

In case you’ve not yet read our guide on getting your ex back, you should go ahead and do so [it’s free]. This will give you the full picture and a plan to follow. This article only focuses on texting an ex. But if you want to get your ex back and keep them permanently, you need to know about a lot of things other than texting.

Best Guide On Getting An Ex Girlfriend Back [Opens in a new window]

Best Guide On Getting An Ex Boyfriend Back [Opens in a new window]

Alright, now that you’ve read the article and are ready to get your ex back permanently. Let’s start.

Part 1: When Should You Text Your Ex Boyfriend or Ex Girlfriend?

Before you text your ex, you must first understand why and when you should text your ex. The reason you are texting your ex and when you text your ex is extremely important if you are trying to get your ex back using text messages.

A good way to do that is by asking yourself the following questions.

  • Why are you texting your ex?
  • Why do you want to get back together?
  • Why do you think it’s a good idea to get back together?
  • What has changed since the breakup that will make your new relationship (if you get back together) different?

If you’ve just broken up and landed on this article, then there’s a good chance that your answers to the above questions will probably irrational, needy and desperate. Let’s analyze these irrational answers your panicked mind may give you.

Why are you texting your ex?

  • Because I want to get my ex back.
  • Because I miss my ex.
  • Because I just want to speak to them.
  • Because I have a few questions and I want closure.

Analyzing Answers:

In most cases, you should only text your ex if you want them back and you feel it&#;s possible to have a healthy and long lasting relationship with them.

If you are texting them to get closure, you are just wasting your time because there is a good chance the answers to your questions will give rise to new questions.

It will not give you closure and it will certainly not help you get over them. If you are texting your ex boyfriend or girlfriend because you miss them, then it will just make you look needy and desperate and it will make them not want to text you.

Why do you want to get back together?

  • Because I love my ex.
  • Because I feel I can’t live without my ex.
  • This breakup is too painful and I want to get them back as soon as possible.

Analyzing Answers:

Do you notice how all the above answers are about what you want and not your ex or your relationship?

Why would this work if your ex doesn’t love you, if your ex can live without you, and if the breakup is not as painful for them as it is for you?

None of those reasons are good enough for your ex to even consider getting back together.

But let’s just focus on yourself for a moment. Are these reasons good enough for you to want them back?

Sure, you love your ex now, but you can move on and start loving someone again.

After all, everyone in this world has the capability to move on from a breakup and start loving someone again. It’s the way humans are built.

Sure, you feel the breakup pain is too much for you right now. But studies after studies have shown that you can recover from a breakup. With time and proper care, you heal and start feeling better, happier, and more confident.

Research conducted at Monmouth University by Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D. and Nicole Bizzoco in concluded that positive outcomes to bad breakups are possible and very likely. The authors of the study state that dissolution of a relationship can lead to growth and positive emotions. This growth is significantly associated with rediscovery of the self.

A study done by us at Ex Back Permanently also revealed that most people find it easy to move on within 6 months of the breakup. We found that not contacting your ex and focusing on self-improvement is the best way to heal from a breakup and move on.

Maybe you aren&#;t really interested in the thought of moving on from your ex. Maybe you think you are sure you want to get back with your ex using text messages. If so, let&#;s move on to the next question you should ask yourself before you text your ex.

Why do you think it’s a good idea to get back together?

  • Because I know for sure that this time I’ll not make any mistakes.
  • Because my ex is special and I can never find someone like him/her.
  • Because our love is special and I never felt like this for someone else.

Analyzing Answers:

Again, all these reasons are focused on you and not really give an incentive for your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend to want to get back together.

In fact, reasons like this show that you are just focused on yourself and don’t really care about what your ex wants. They also show that you are insecure and needy.

Why would they get back together with someone who is so selfish and insecure?

But, I will do anything to get back together. How is that selfish?

Just because you will do anything doesn’t mean your reasons for getting back together are altruistic. Let’s look at your answers to the third question.

What has changed since the breakup that will make your new relationship (if you get back together) different?

  • I’ll do whatever they want and never give them a reason to leave.
  • I’ve realized my mistakes and will never make them again.
  • I’ll do everything in my power to keep their love.

Analyzing Answers:

If you can realize your mistakes now and can stop yourself from making them again, why didn’t you do it while you still had your ex?

If it was so easy to stop making mistakes, then you wouldn’t have let your ex leave you in the first place.

In reality, it takes a lot of work and a lot of time to make real changes in your behavior and habits. It takes a lot of self-awareness and practice to stop making your insecurity and neediness affect your relationship. In a lot of cases, it takes professional help to let go of the bad habits that ruin your love life and relationships.

In fact, if you just broke up, then there’s a good chance you don’t really understand the real reason you broke up. Take this quiz to help you understand why you broke up and what are your chances of getting back together.

Recommended Reading: Should You Get Back With Your Ex &#; 6 Steps To Find Out

If you just broke up, your ex has no reason to believe things will be different this time. And they will have no reason to want to try again.

If you want to get them back, you will actually need to make a lot of positive changes in yourself. Again, read the 5 step plan to learn how to do that.

The answer to these questions are important. You must be clear why you want to get back together and you must be sure that things will be different this time. Then and only then you will be ready to contact your ex.

Of course, you should also do no contact before you text them. You can also send them a short email or a hand written letter before you decide to text them for the first time. More about no contact, the email and the hand written letter can be found in the 5 step plan to get your ex back.

Should You Text Your Ex If You Still Want Them Back?

If you want your ex back, you should only text your ex if you are

  • a) No longer needy or desperate,
  • b) You have a good reason to want them back,
  • c) And You have a game plan to get them back

Let’s tackle each of these points in brief.

If you are texting your ex out of neediness or desperation, then you are probably going to push your ex away. No one likes a needy or insecure person and texting your ex out of neediness is a huge mistake. I talk about the mistakes that arise out of the post breakup neediness or desperation a lot on this website. In essence, this neediness and insecurity arises from the fear of losing your ex. And as long as that fear controls your action, you will never be able to attract your ex back.

To make the text messages effective in getting them back, you need to come from a place of confidence. If you aren’t confident, your ex will eventually smell the fear in your text messages and will become cold.

In most cases, I recommend you do weeks of no contact before texting your ex. By doing no contact correctly, you will get rid of the neediness and desperation and you will start becoming confident again. To learn about no contact, check out this article.

Even if you miss your ex from all your heart, you should NOT text them unless you are no longer needy or desperate. IT’S ONLY OKAY TO TEXT YOUR EX WHEN YOU HAVE HEALED AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT FROM THE BREAKUP AND ARE NO LONGER PANICKING.

According to a study conducted by Ashley E. Mason, PhD and colleagues, self-concept reorganization is important for your psychological well-being after a breakup.

That means that it&#;s important to regain your self-identity after a breakup. If you ask yourself, &#;Who am I without my ex?&#;, you should have a clear answer for it. If you are not sure who or what you are without your ex, then perhaps you have an unhealthy attachment to your ex and you should take some time away from them to heal from the breakup and get some perspective on your life.

Secondly, it’s important to understand why the breakup happened and if your relationship with your ex can be fixed. After all, there is no point in trying to get your ex back if you can’t keep them in a healthy and amazing relationship for a long time. This website is named Ex Back Permanently for a reason. Because if you are trying to get your ex back, you should strive to keep them permanently.

To figure out if getting your ex back is worth your time and energy, I recommend you read this article.

Recommended Reading: Should You Get Back With Your Ex &#; 6 Steps To Find Out

Thirdly, you need to have a game plan to get them back. You may realize your ex is potentially the perfect partner for you. You may even have gotten rid of the neediness, insecurity and desperation. But if you text your ex, you must have at least a tentative game plan for the future.

  • What should you expect to achieve with the text?
  • How will you turn this texting into a phone call or a date?
  • How will you eventually convince your ex to give the relationship another chance?

Thankfully, you have landed on the right article to understand this game plan. I recommend you read this entire article and if you find it helpful, read more articles on this website to understand more about the process of getting an ex back.

Below, you will find some FAQs about different situations related to texting an ex.

Should you text your ex if you want closure?

If you don’t want your ex back and you only want to text them because you want closure, you should NOT text your ex at all. In most cases, asking an ex for closure does not work and it only leaves you with more questions than you began with.

What to Do if You Receive a Text from Your Ex? Should You Text Your Ex Back or Ignore Him?

Should you text your ex on their birthday or special occasions?

If you are doing no contact, then you should avoid texting your ex during birthdays or any other special occasions. Texting them on birthdays or special occasions does not accomplish anything. Moreover, they might feel like you are using the special occasion to get back in touch with them. And that will make you look desperate.

If you really want to wish them on birthdays or on a special occasion, it is best to keep the text short and to the point. For example, a birthday text should be something like this.

Hey, Happy Birthday!. I hope you have a great year ahead.

You should not use the text to start a conversation. For example, this text is not recommended when you wish them birthday.

Hey, Happy Birthday. I have been missing you. How have you been?

See, this text makes it obvious that you are using your ex’s birthday to start a conversation with them. This will turn them off and make them not want to talk to you.

What if my ex’s birthday fall at the end of no contact?

In this situation, I recommend that you extend no contact for another week or two. You can wish them on their birthday but you should still stick to the script and keep the conversation short.

What if my ex wants to speak to me after I wish them?

If they respond to you asking a question, answer to them in an upbeat manner but don’t give them anything to extend the conversation.

For example,

Thank you. How have you been?

I have been doing well. Thank you for asking.

Part 2: The Basics of Texting Your Ex Back

Texting your ex doesn’t have to be very complicated. All you have to do is understand the basics, follow a few templates and just go with the flow. In this section, we will talk about the basics.

Here’s what you should aim to achieve when you are texting your ex.

  • Make them crave your text.
  • They should be excited to receive a text from you.
  • They should be looking forward to having a texting conversation with you.
  • Make them associate texting you with something exciting.
  • Make them want to reply to you immediately after they receive your text.
  • Make them start initiating texting conversations with you.
  • Make them want to take it to the next level (phone calls or a date).

exciting ex with text messagesTo achieve that, you must remember the golden rule.

The golden rule of texting your ex is to never send a negative text to your ex.

Here are some examples of negative texts that will probably make your ex not want to receive texts from you.

You are horrible human being for doing what you did. I am glad you are out of my life.

If you don’t answer my texts, I’ll burn every love letter that you wrote for me.

How can you just leave your son like that. You are terrible father/mother.

You are not fooling anybody by acting aloof. I know you are miserable and I hope you stay miserable for the rest of your life.

I need you in my life. I can’t live without you.

Hateful texts, threats, needy texts and any negative text in general is a big no. You can never make them associate texting you with something exciting if you send the above texts even once.

To make them associate you with someone exciting and your texts with something exciting, you must be consistent in your texting.

You must be able to consistently provide exciting and interesting conversations.

If you can’t they will either label you as boring, needy, or just a negative person.

What if I already sent a lot of negative or needy texts?

Do no contact for a while. This will give them time to forget all the negativity and maybe even start missing the good times they had with you.

You can also use the “Elephant in the Room” text discussed later in this guide to swipe the slate clean and start over.

The Frequency of Texting.

Ideally, you and your ex should text each other every day.

You know how lovers text each other? The first text in the morning and the last text before sleeping?

That is the type of frequency you want to achieve. But, you must take it slow. Very, very slow.

If you immediately start messaging your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend every morning and every night, you are going to sound an alarm in their brain that will make them put all their defenses up.

But if you start with just one text message and very slowly start increasing the frequency, they will probably not notice.

It will feel very natural to them and they will feel the attraction and connection you build is also natural. Heck, if you do it right, they will start increasing the frequency of text messages and there’s a good chance they will start talking about getting back together.

How Often Should I Text My Ex?

Here’s a sample timeline for texting your ex. This can change depending on your situation, the intensity of the conversations you are having and how often your ex initiates texting.

  • Day 1: First text message and a short conversation.
  • Day 2: Don’t initiate texting. If your ex initiates, reply to them but end it as soon as possible.
  • Day 3: Same as Day 2.
  • Day 4: Initiate the conversation. Make it longer than your first conversation but not too lengthy. Give them something to think about.
  • Day 5: Same as Day 2
  • Day 6: Don’t initiate. If they initiate, reply and continue the conversation for as long as you like.
  • Day 7: Initiate and continue the conversation for as long as you like.
  • Day 8: Same as Day 6.
  • Day 9: Same as Day 7.
  • Day Initiate a conversation in the morning, and in the evening. Continue each conversations for as long as you like.
  • Day Same as Day 6
  • Day Same as Day 7
  • Day Same as Day 7
  • Day Same as Day 10

Makes sense? Just mix it up a bit and keep having interesting conversations with your ex. Slowly, but steadily keep increasing the frequency until they are used to having you text them and they are used to initiate texting.

Miscommunication and Negativity in the conversation

If you and your ex are speaking to each other on a constant basis, there is a good chance either one of you will encounter miscommunication and/or negativity in the conversation. Here’s what to do when you encounter them.

Miscommunication

Whenever you encounter a miscommunication, it’s best to clear it straight away instead of waiting your ex to figure out what you said.

This can easily happen if you are using sarcasm in your messages. It’s best to avoid sarcasm in text messages unless you are absolutely sure your ex will get it.

sarcasm-texting-ex

Similarly, if at any time, you are not sure about what your ex is saying or if they are being sarcastic, it’s best to ask them clearly what they mean instead of trying to figure out what they meant. If you feel they are giving you a sign that they still love you or that they want to get back together, check out this article that covers most of the signs your ex may give you.

Negativity

Whenever you feel the conversation is going to take a negative turn, you have three options.

1. Try to end the conversation and try again after a couple of days.

2. Try to resolve the issue without speaking about it in detail.

3. Talk about the issue in detail and clear things out.

If you’ve just started speaking to your ex, then I recommend you choose the first option. If your ex still feels negatively about you, the breakup or the relationship; then he/she is not ready to open up and speak about the issues in a calm manner. In this situation, it’s best to acknowledge the negativity and your ex’s feelings, apologize if necessary and end the conversation.

For example,

I can’t believe you can be so selfish. You weren’t there for me when I needed you the most.

I understand how you feel. I was selfish and I am sorry for what I did. I am learning more about myself every day and I’ve realized why I acted the way I did. I feel that you and I both need some more space before we can speak objectively. I hope we can speak soon and I want you to know that I’ll always wish you the best.

If the conversation is about to take a negative turn but it’s not very serious, you can acknowledge the negativity and the reason for it and try to move on.

For example,

Yeah, we had fun in the Bahamas. I wish you hadn’t been busy with your laptop all the time.

You can sense that your ex is upset about you not being present when you were supposed to spend quality time with them. You can acknowledge the issue without offering a solution.

Yikes! I actually saw that coming. You are right though. My schedule was all over the place. I wish I had spent more quality time with you when I had the chance. Well. Live and learn I guess.

If the conversation is about to take a negative turn and the issue is serious, then you might want to speak about it in detail. For example,

It seems you have really changed. I hated it that you never gave me space. I almost felt like you want to control everything in my life.

You are right. I did want to control everything around me. I’ve done a lot of soul searching and even gone to therapy. I realized my habits were formed when I was a child. I never really felt loved because my parents were always busy with work. When I fell in love with you and realized you loved me too, I was doing everything in my power to not lose it. I was controlling everything out of fear of losing my love. I’ve now realized how unhealthy it was, both for me and our relationship. I’ve realized a lot of my other unhealthy habits as well. Anyways, this is too much to talk about via text messages, do you want to get on a call?

Notice that if it’s a serious issue, it’s best you take the conversation to a phone call. But before you ask them to do so, you should give them a good reason to believe that you have really changed. And at no point of time you should speak to them about getting back together.

WhatsApp, iMessage, Line, Viber, Snapchat. What should you choose to text them?

There are so many apps you can use to text your ex. Which app is the best?

It’s simple. Use the app you know that your ex uses most. Some apps do have an advantage over others, but those advantages are very minor and if you use the strategies laid out in this guide, those advantages will not matter at all. For example, WhatsApp gives you the ability to see if a message has been read by your ex while line and Viber gives you a range of emoticons and animations to choose from.

Almost all the apps today can send Gifs. You can use Gifs to make references to your favorite movies or TV shows. (Download Giphy to get access to a lot of Gifs). However, make sure that you use Gifs sparingly and only if your ex responds to them with positively. Gifs cannot be used to build attraction with your ex. But they are good for an occasional laugh.

Part 3: The First Text for Your Ex aka What to text your ex after no contact

Your ex is probably expecting a text from you after you broke up with them. But texting them immediately after a breakup is a mistake. You should do no contact before you text your ex. Take some time out for yourself, work on yourself, make some positive changes in your life and make sure that getting back together is the right decision for you.

What to text your ex boyfriend or girlfriend after no contact?

Once you have done no contact and you are absolutely sure you want your ex back, it’s time to initiate contact. Your first contact with your ex can be in the form of an email, a hand written letter or a text. You can read the guide on getting your ex back for more details on the email and hand written letter. This guide will focus on how to text your ex after no contact.

When you first contact your ex, you can use one of the following templates.

The Memory Text.

This one is quite famous and you’ve probably come across it. You simply use something to make a connection with your ex and say that it reminded you of them. The key to this text is to keep it light hearted. If possible, add a little bit humor. You want them to believe that you are no longer needy or desperate and that you will not really try to talk about getting back together.

For example,

Hey, I was just walking down the St Johns street and came across that restaurant with amazing Shawarmas. Reminded me of you (and how we went there after watching Avengers). How have you been?

Hey, I just watched the latest season of Game of Thrones. You were right. Jon Snow really doesn’t know anything. It made me think of you right after I almost cried in excitement. Anyways, how have you been?

You can also mix it with something that’s been happening in your ex’s life.

For example,

Hey, I finally got around to reading the Harry Potter books. You were right. I should have read them long time ago. But, hey I got to experience the Hogwarts magic at Speaking of magic, how was your show at the club last night?

The Advice Text

One of the easiest way to get someone to feel good about themselves is to ask them for advice. People love to give advice and you can use this to your advantage when you are trying to re-spark attraction with your ex with text messages.

The key to this text is to find something your ex is an expert at, or is at least interested in.

But before asking them, ask them if you can ask them about it. Makes sense? It will in a second.

For example,

Hey, my nephew has this weird math problem that none of us could solve. Can I ask you about it?

See, how you are taking their permission before asking them the question. This almost guarantees a response from them because they want to know the question.

We just can’t figure out what is the square root of ” [Note: come up with a better question than that]

Oh, that’s simple. It’s 4.

Wow. Thanks a lot. I was always amazed at what a genius you are at math. How have you been?

This template is great to get your ex to respond to you. You totally fly under their radar when you ask them for advice. Here’s another example using the same template.

Hey, my friend just started cooking and he asked me a weird question. I am totally confused. Can I ask you about it?

Is it okay to add onions when I am cooking a steak?

Umm, if it’s a good quality steak, it’s probably best not to add any onions. But if you want to experiment, go ahead.

Thanks. I love how you are so good at cooking anything. And I loved the chili you made for me that day. Where did you learn to make it?

Again, come up with better questions than that. I am totally pulling this out from nowhere as I am writing this article and if you use the questions in the above examples, your ex will probably see through them.

Make your questions genuine and be genuinely curious about their answer.

The Elephant in the Room Text.

elephant-texting

What if your break up was really bad? What if you made a lot of mistakes after the breakup? What if you acted needy, desperate, creepy and maybe even stalky? What if you cheated on your ex? What if your ex cheated on you?

If you fall in any of the above category, then there is a good chance you will not be able to use any of the first text messages as templates to get back in touch. If the last thing your ex said to you was something along the lines of

“I hate you. Please never contact me again.”

You can’t just act as if it didn’t happen and just casually start talking about how Jon Snow knew nothing in the latest episode of Game of Thrones.

jon-snow-texting-ex

I am not obsessed with Jon Snow. I just haven’t watched the latest season yet. (Update: I watched it and I was as disappointed with the last season as most of you)

If you do that, your ex will be weirded out and think you are crazy.

You have to acknowledge the elephant in the room. You have to clean the slate so you can start again. This is when the Elephant in the room texts come in handy.

How do you go about it?

You’ve got to mention three things in this Text.

1. Apologize for whatever happened during the breakup

2. Acknowledge that you’ve accepted the breakup and have healed

3. Tell them how you’ve changed (For example, learned how you were needy and started working on yourself.)

Once you’ve sent the Elephant in the room text, you have to lay back for at least a week or two before you can use any of the other templates mentioned in this guide. (Note the Elephant in the room text is especially useful if your ex girlfriend is dating a new boyfriend or if your ex boyfriend has moved on to a new girlfriend)

Now the Elephant in the room texts need to be unique for every situation. But I have a lot of readers and clients who go through many similar situations. This has given me the opportunity to come up with a lot of templates for the Elephant in the room texts. I’ve created a free report that includes 5 Elephant In The Room Texts you can use. You can download this report by clicking here and subscribing to our emails.

Part 4 : Using Text Messages to Rebuild Attraction, Connection and Trust

Once you’ve texted your ex for the first time and have received a positive response, you need to start rebuilding attraction connection and trust with your ex.

Texting is a great medium to do so when your ex still has leftover negative feelings from the breakup and they don’t want to give you any false hope.

You probably have read a lot about texting from different articles on the internet. You might have even come across some articles that claim to be the best article on the internet. But if you notice, they will all give you a one size fits all solution to texting your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend.

The truth is, your ex is unique. Your relationship with your ex is unique. What attraction means to them is unique. What chemistry means to them is unique. What trust means to them is unique. What might work for someone else, will not necessarily work for you. So before you move forward with this, you must understand your ex and what attraction, connection and trust means to them.

Here’s how you go about doing this.

1. Building Attraction with text messages

You know your ex better than anyone else. What is it that your ex found attractive in you in the first place?

Do you know how sometimes people say “He/She is not my type.”?

What do they mean by that?

Sure, sometimes it is referring to a physical quality of the person. They may be referring to their height, weight, hair color, or skin color.

But in most cases, whenever someone says, “He/She is not my type”; they are referring to that person’s personality.

It could have something to do with them being an introvert or an extrovert, or it could have something to do with them being honest and trustworthy. It could have something to do with them being active in sports or the fact that they are an academic.

Different characteristics appeal to different people. You need to find out what are the things that appealed most to your ex and what turned them off.

For example, suppose your ex is an introvert and they don’t really care about meeting new people and hanging out in social gathering.

And suppose you sent them a text like this.

“I just went out to this crazy party last night with a couple of friends. It was amazing and I wish you were there with me.”

Do you think that will make your ex more attracted to you?

When you send a message like that, you will probably turn them off because you are forcing them to imagine themselves in a situation they don’t find much appealing.

On the other hand, a message like this might be more appealing to an introvert.

“I went to my uncle’s cabin over the weekend. We were surrounded by birds, dense forest and we spent the weekend re-reading Harry Potter for the fifth time and reenacting some scenes from it. It was amazing and I wish you had been there.”

Imagine how this would make an introvert feel. You are displaying qualities that you know your ex is attracted to. You are also making your ex imagine what it would have been like being with you and spending time with you. A message like this will earn you some attraction points from an introvert.

You should be able to craft messages like this to display positive qualities in you and at the same time making them imagine what it would be like being with you.

But, you must take things slow. And you must be subtle about it. For example, if they are an avid sports fan, you can’t just say something like this.

“You know I’ve started watching NBA as well. If we get back together, we can watch it together.”

That will definitely make your ex put their defenses back up and make them think you are needy and a doormat.

But you can do something like this.

You will not believe what just happened.

My aunt got me seats to an NBA game and I figured why not. My friend and I went to the stadium and OMG. This was the best experience ever. And now, I watch all the important games. I finally understood why you spent so many nights stuck to the TV.

How To Get Your Ex To Initiate Contact With You?

In the long run, it doesn’t matter who initiates contact with whom. As long as your ex replies to you and they are warm whenever you both text each other, you shouldn’t worry about who is texting first.

But in the short run, if your ex initiates contact with you, it shows that what you have been doing to re-attract them has been working. And it may give you a little bit of motivation to know that your ex likes speaking to you enough to text you first.

To get your ex to text you first, do the following,

1) Make sure that you have actually done no contact, worked on your confidence, made a lot of positive changes and are doing this for the right reasons.

In most cases, if you have made a lot of positive changes, they will show interest by texting you first.

2) If you feel your ex is cold to you, back off for at least two weeks.

For example, suppose you text them at 3 PM and they reply back to you 10 PM with an unenthusiastic message, it’s obvious that they are cold and not interested in speaking to you.

The best way to handle this is not to push it further to try to understand why they are being cold. Instead, just back off for at least two weeks.

By backing off, you are showing them you are not desperate and if they are not interested in speaking to you, you won’t push them to speak to you.

In most cases, an ex will reach out to you once they realize that you are not pushing them and you are not needy anymore.

3) Give them something to look forward to.

One way to get your ex to text you first is by giving them something to look forward to. Give them an open loop in the middle of a texting conversation.

For example, you can begin a story and tell them that you will finish it the next day.

Yeah, Andrew went nuts that night in Thailand. The evening started in a quiet cabin near the sea since we were planning to catch up on sleep and detox from all the drinking. But before midnight there was cake, a monkey, alcohol and two lady boys involved. And the lady boys were the least surprising thing about the evening.

It’s a long story and I actually have a lot of work to catch up to. Maybe we can pick this conversation up tomorrow? Just so there are no misunderstandings, we didn’t hook up with anyone during the trip …. Even though the lady boys insisted. 😛

Haha. Okay we will talk tomorrow.

Next Day..

So, you were talking about that wild night in Thailand?

Or tell them that you are hoping to get some exciting news soon and then wait for them to ask about it. For example,

You know the DNA test I did last month? I am going to get the results tomorrow around noon. I am so excited about it. I always wanted to know my ancestry.

Yeah, I remember. Must be nice to finally get the results. A month is a long wait.

I know right. But I am glad the wait is finally over. I wonder if you are right about me not really being Chinese… 😛

Haha. I won’t be surprised if I was right. You don’t even like Noodle Soup.

Next Day…

So, did you get the result yet? Was I right about you?

Lol. Sorry to disappoint you but my ancestors were mainly from East Asia.

Take note that these tactics can only help a little bit in getting your ex to text you first. If they have been cold towards you, it’s not going to work.

So, make sure that you have done enough no contact and you have worked on becoming a confident person before ending no contact.

And if your ex is still cold, back off and give them some more space and time before trying again.

2. Building connection and trust using text messages

You develop a connection and trust with someone you spend a lot of time with. Go back to the beginning of your relationship with your ex. You probably didn’t trust each other much and you didn’t feel a deep connection. But as time went by, you started trusting each other and felt a deep connection with each other.

Sometimes it takes months and sometimes it takes years to develop a connection and trust with someone

There’s no two ways around it. Building connection and trust takes time. A lot of time.

But the good news is that you and your ex already had a pretty solid connection. You were both together for a long time and probably trusted each other. There’s a good chance you both still feel a deep connection to each other even after doing no contact for a while. And even after everything has happened, a part of you will always trust each other.

So how do you capitalize on that?

You build connection and trust by being honest and vulnerable in a way you have never been before.

I know what you are thinking.

I desperately want my ex back, if I be honest about my desperation, how can it build a connection with them?

Well, you don’t. If your honesty is coming out of desperation and neediness, it’s going to backfire and you will probably push your ex away.

This is why I recommend again and again to take some time off, work on yourself, learn to be happy, become confident, become a better version of yourself, become You before contacting your ex. This way, you can truly be honest with them when you say that you are Okay with whatever happens.

Let’s say your ex calls you out and asks you if you are texting them because you hope to get back together. You might feel like a deer caught in headlight.
texting-honesty

So, what do you do? Do you lie? Do you ignore them? Do you be honest?

I recommend being honest. After all, you don’t want to build your new relationship on lies and deceit. But honesty can work both in your favor and against it.

Here’s an example of a needy person being honest.

Honestly, I still want you back. I don’t think I can ever find someone like you and I have been miserable without you.

And here’s an example of confident person being honest with their ex.

Honestly, a part of me does want to get back. But I am okay with whatever happens. I understand why the breakup happened and have realized that it was for the best. I am in a good place right now and to be honest, I am texting you just because I miss speaking to you. I don’t have a goal or an ulterior motive for texting you. I just want to see what happens.

See how that message doesn’t make it you look needy or desperate. Moreover, this removes any pressure from your ex. In all possibility, they also want to see where this goes considering you have changed quite a bit. They know that they will not hurt you by leading you on because you are no longer needy and desperate.

Here are a few other ways to be honest and vulnerable while building a deep connection and trust with your ex.

– Speak about what you’ve learned during no contact.

– Speak about your insecurities and how you’ve let them ruin your relationships in the past.

– Speak about how you truly feel about important things in life. Things like life, religion, politics, relationships, love, life partner, career. (Note: If your ex has an opposite view on one of these topics, it’s best to avoid them.)

– Encourage them to be vulnerable. When you are honest and vulnerable, you encourage them to do the same. Conversations like this can turn meaningful and eye opening for a lot of people.

– When they speak, truly listen to them. Try to understand how they feel and try to see things from their perspective.

– Ask them creative questions. Questions that make them think more about themselves and can lead you to more meaningful conversations.

Here’s an example of using a creative question to start a conversation.

Hey, someone asked me an interesting question the other day. It made me think a lot about my life. I want to ask you the same thing. Should I go ahead?

If there is one thing you can change about how your career is going what would it be?

Umm. I guess I will decide to start my own studio instead of working for this soulless company.

You know, I always wanted to tell you to start your own studio. You are so amazing at interior designing. Honestly, I think you would do great. What do you think is stopping you from doing so?

I don’t know. I never really got the time to think about it. I always wanted my own studio when I was in college. I guess I got complacent when I got a job.

From here, you have an opening to talk about a lot of things. You can talk about your or your ex’s dreams in college, about working at your job, about business ownership, about arts or interior design, or about your own insecurities at your job.

A Note on Rebuilding Trust

If you broke your ex’s trust during your relationship, then there’s a good chance they won’t be open to rebuilding a connection with you unless you at least give them some hope that you can change. You must show them that you are willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild their trust. And this should start with a deep insight for your actions, your reasons behind those actions and what you are doing to change that. You can read more about this in this article.

You cannot rebuild trust by text messages alone. But you can start by being vulnerable and honest. Refer to the checklist above on how to start being vulnerable and honest with your ex.

Part 5: Moving on to phone calls and a date

Phone Calls

Texting is great when you are just starting to speak with your ex after doing no contact. But it’s not nearly as good as a phone call or a face to face meeting. You have a lot of advantage when you are on a phone call with your ex. You get to speak to them as you would speak to a lover. You get to listen to their voice and they get to listen to yours. You get to listen to their tone and they get to listen to yours. You can develop a much deeper connection because you are actually talking to your ex instead of just texting.

I recommend that you try to get your ex on a call whenever you get the opportunity.

For example, suppose you and your ex have been speaking regularly for a while. You’ve decided you are ready to speak to them on the phone and you want to take the plunge. You can use a simple excuse in between the conversation.

And Nathan couldn’t balance himself and fell face first on the cake. I died laughing.

Hey, I am getting in the car to drive. I can’t stop laughing. Wanna get on a call and continue this conversation?

*you call your ex*

See, how simple that was. The only thing that’s needed is for you to ask. And now, you can actually laugh together instead of sending acronyms of a phrase that says you are laughing (LOL).

You can also ask them to get on a call without any excuse. But before you do that, you must be speaking to each other regularly and must have built enough rapport with them. To ask them on a call just say something like.

Hey, wanna speak on the phone? I am kind of tired of typing.

Asking them out

Asking your ex out is a big move. Most exes are wary about going out with their ex partners because they think this might give you the wrong signal and make you put your hopes up. This is why you should not ask your ex out until you have built enough connection, attraction and trust with them.

Before you ask your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend out, you should be speaking to them on the phone regularly and texting regularly for at least a week.

In a lot of cases, your ex will ask you out after you’ve built enough attraction and connection with them. But if they don’t, you can use this simple template to ask them out.

Hey, I’ll be in [area near your ex’s house or office] tomorrow, wanna catch up for coffee?

Keep it simple and don’t pressure your ex. If they say they are not sure, just give them a gentle push without making it look like you are forcing them. For example,

I am not sure if that’s a good idea.

Come on. It’s just coffee.

Umm, alright. I’ll see you at 6.

It’s very important that you don’t call it a date. Using words like “Catching up” or “Hang out” is a good idea.

If you wanna be adventurous, you can even ask them out on very specific dates like shopping, a concert, a book reading or a sports event. But all that is a bit advanced and doesn’t really fall in this topic. After all, this article is just about using texts to get your ex boyfriend or ex girlfriend back. And we’ve already covered quite a bit into that.

References:

Sours: https://exbackpermanently.com/use-texts-to-get-your-ex-back/

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Sours: https://www.pinterest.com/stulkenvivienne/ex-bf-text-messages/


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